Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable. Trey Parker and Matt Stone
A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping. Kenneth Tynan
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth. Lillian Hellman
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? Clarence Darrow
War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory. Georges Clemenceau
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. John Ciardi
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. Quentin Crisp
A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. William S. Burroughs
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. Carl Zwanzig
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. Bill Nye
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. John Benfield
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. Ernest Haskins
Love has no place in a lawyer's office. Elizabeth Aston
The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. Arthur Koestler
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. Dave Barry
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better. Randy K. Milholland
If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city. Charles Caleb Colton
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time. Willem de Kooning
No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. Jascha Heifetz
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