MOM : “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.” SON : “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.” MOM : “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.” SON : “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.” MOM : “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.” SON : “Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?” MOM : “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school”Rating
Why did the doctor become a chef? Because they wanted to cure hunger pains!RatingI told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.Rating
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!RatingWhy did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school!RatingWhat do you call a teacher who never frowns? A geometry teacher, because they always stay positive!RatingWhy did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.RatingWhy did the banana go to the party?
Because it was a-peeling affair!RatingWhat do you call a chapati that tells jokes? A "flapjack" comedian!Rating
Why did the cow go to space?
Because it wanted to see the moooon!Rating
Why did the pimple apply for a job? Because it wanted to finally pop up in the working world!RatingI asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."RatingWhy do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.RatingBread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.RatingWhy shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.RatingThe past, present, and future walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.RatingMOM - What did you do in school today? KID - We played a guessing game! MOM - I thought you had a math test? KID - That is what the teacher called it too!RatingDinner with Chess Champion I was having dinner with chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.RatingWhy don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!RatingA Man Drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table. She says, "I want you to see this". She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says feeling that she has made the point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying, "if I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"Rating
|
|
