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Little Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read, "The 10 Most Wanted."
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman, "the detectives want him very badly."
So Little Tommy asked, while tugging on the man's belt, "Um, mister, why didn't you keep them when you took their pictures?"
Rating
The Disappointed Salesman
The disappointed salesman of Coke returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters. The first poster is a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place".
"That should have worked", said the friend."
He replied, "Well, I didn't know Arabic, neither did I realize that Arabs read from right to left..."Rating
Love Letter By An Advertising Manager
My Dear FAIR & LOVELY (ek tukda chand ka),you are my TVS SCOOTY (First Love)
and my AIWA (Pure Passion).I always BPL (Believe in the Best) and you are
SANSUI (Better Than The Best).You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering Million
Smiles)for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously Fresh)feeling for me. As you know I am REYMOND (The Complete Man) for you,I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable)
and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine)and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS (The Coolest Ones).If they will say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better).
In our marriage SAMSUNG (Everyone's Invited). Our parents will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage)
but I believe in COCA COLA (jo chahe ho jaye).Trust in the God who's always NOKIA (Connecting People)who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made For
Each Other).Now that HYUNDAI (We are Listening) the song of love,you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real
Taste of Life),SATYAM ONLINE (Fun Fast Easy) and PARX (Always Comfortable).
So never forget me.Ok bye I wrote little but PEPSI (ye dil maange
more).LG (Digitally yours),Rating
I Hate
Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy: I close my eyes.RatingEverybody should pay their taxes with a smile, said Bob. I tried it but they wanted cash.RatingMary comes home rather late. Oh, sweetheart, she called, your car's on Maple Street.
Why didn't you bring it home? her husband asked. Couldn't, she said. It's too dark out there to find all the parts.Rating
Telling Lie
Internal Test was going in college.
4 guys instead of reading they fully boosed previuos night. And in next morning they wake up late and told to lecturer that they gone to their native while coming back their car tyre got punctured. Lecturer given them a chance to appear the test next monday.
Whole week they read all the chapters and prepared for the test. In the test they were asked to sit in different class room to write for the exam. And not allowed to talk with any body and even in the cell phone.
Test Questions were only 2
Q 1. What is your name ? Marks 2
Q 2. Which tyre of your Car got punctured.? Marks 98Ratingwhy criminals leave their fingerprints
CIA: why criminals leave their fingerprints after doing their work?
Recruit: Sir, I Think they are illiterate, if they were literate, they would leave their signature for u.RatingPower Of Eye
Vijay to his father: "Can you write in the dark, dad?"
Father: "Of course. That's not difficult."
Vijay: "Then, please switch off the light and sign my school report."
Rating100 Marks
Wife: our neighbour's son got 99 marks.
Husband: where did that one mark go
Wife: It came to our son. :)RatingBeautiful Wife
wife: why don't you advised your friend to select his wife hence she is not a match with him?
husband: mmmm.... becoz he didn't advised me on that timeRating
Taj Hotel
Bhikari ne phone kiya: Hello Taj hotel
Taj: yes
Bhikari: 1 biriyani, 1 pizza bhej do
Taj: kiske naam pe bheju?
Bhikari: Allah ke naam pe bhej doRatingBE CAREFUL WHILE SENDING A MAIL
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room. So he decided to send an E-MAIL to his wife.
However he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address and without realising his error, he sent the message. Meanwhile,
Somewhere a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail,
Expecting message from her relatives and friends.; After reading the first message she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've just reached
Date: 13th Oct 2006
I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to sent e-mails to your loved ones.
I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was..!
RatingThe Naming of Things...Specifically, Children.
Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor answers.
The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise."
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."RatingLegal Misunderstandings
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!" he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."RatingEconomics Astrology
An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects.
The astrologer says, "Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can't even reach that proportion."
The econometrician replies, "That's because of external shocks. Stars don't have those."Rating
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?RatingMy Dog
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!RatingMath multiplication
Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!RatingHuge hands
"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?
Huge hands, sir.Rating
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