Mathematician husband
A mathematician reached home at 3 AM.
His wife was very upset.
Wife: You're late! You said you'd be home by 11:45!
Mathematician: I'm right on time. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve.
(12/4 = 3)Rating
Wife: Do you love me just because my father left a lot of money for me?
Husband: Not-at-all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.Rating
20 years Ago
Wife: Sweet Heart ! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.
Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.Ratingcomputer password
A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?
Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.
Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.Ratingyoga effect
Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.Ratingstanding in front of mirror
Wife: (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?
Funny Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent !Rating
Second Marriage
Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?
Husband: No dear.
Wife: I'm sure you would.
Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.
Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Husband: Ya, I guess so.
Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.
Husband: No, she is taller than you.RatingHarassed Husband
Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.
Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?
Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.Rating
Post of detective
Laloo applied for the post of a detective in Patna. In the interview he was asked a question:
Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?
Laloo: I will tell you tomorrow.
Laloo come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Gandhi.Rating
Angry Boss
Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No Sir...
Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.RatingLawyer Fees
Client to Lawyer: What is your fees?
Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.
Client: Isn't it too high?
Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?RatingDivorce
Husband: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!RatingResponsible
An employer said to a job applicant:
'In this job we need someone who is responsible.'
the job applicant replied:
'I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time something went wrong, they said I was responsible.'RatingHistory
TEACHER TO A CHILD (RAJ) : RAJ IF THE WORLD WAR THREE WILL COME THEN WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
RAJ TO TEACHER : SIR IN HISTORY SUBJECT ONE CHAPTER WILL INCREASE.RatingBOY
Boy: My Father's name is Laughing and my Mother's name is Smiling.
Teacher: U must be Kidding.
Boy: No, That is my brother I am joking.RatingWhen Time Talks
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.
He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked. "Its not a gong. Its a talking clock", the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "Yup", replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "Watch", the drunk replied.
He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "Hey, jerk! It's one-fifteen in the morning!"RatingFather's money
After the wedding:
- You know, honey, I can't give up my maiden habits at once.
- It is not necessary! You may continue to take your father's money.RatingGood Horse Sense
A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' he asks.
'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it,' she replies.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,' he explains.
She looks satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house. Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.
When he comes to, he asks, 'What the heck was that for?'
She answers, 'Your horse just phoned.'RatingNew Scientific Theories III
The 'Why Yawning Is Contagious' Theory:
You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums.
This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it all out.RatingHow You Made Money?
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.
"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."Rating
|
|
