Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions?
Student: Well...yes and no.Rating
Excuse me
"Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
"No, I'm sorry I don't."
"Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."Rating
Which part?
"I was born in California."
"Which part?"
"All of me."Rating
Teacher & Nick
Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"RatingCURTAINS
Man to salesman : I want pink cutains for my computer screen.
Salesman : Sir, computers don't need curtains.
Man : Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo, I got WINDOWS!!
Rating
Height Of Technical Thinking
Height of technical thinking:
A software person falling from the roof of the building and shouting
F1
F1
F1
instead of help, help!!RatingGrabbed A Coin
A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
"Head, I go to sleep."
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I'll studyRating
First three years of marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Here's another joke about marriage.
A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Now let's listen to a couple of riddles about marriage.
Here's the first one.
Q: Why are men with pierced ears better suited for marriage?
A: Because they have suffered and bought jewelry.
Here's another riddle.
Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
A: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
I'll end today's podcast with a humorous proverb-like saying.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.RatingI've cried
A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've criedRatingDoctor, it hurts!
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"RatingNothing Exactly
Principal: "I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"
Johnny: "Nothing, sir."
Principal: "Exactly!"Rating"First day
The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first at school?"
The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"Rating
3 Restaurants
There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City."
The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the World."
On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said "The Best Restaurant on this Block."RatingBoy Or Girl
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.RatingTelephone
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.RatingGood News & Bad News
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."RatingA guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."RatingAn Old Man Himself Had Hearing Problem
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one day, he stood behind her
while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly
to her, "Honey, can you hear me?"
There was no response. He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?"
Still, there was no response. Finally, he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "for the third time, yes!"RatingYou Are a Housewife
One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job - a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."
"Poof!" said the genie. "You are a housewife." :PRatingA Mans Feeling
A Man's Feeling :....
"It feels Like a Mini heart attack when I dont find my Mobile in my pocket .......
& its almost like Heart Fail when I see it in my Girlfriend's hand !Rating
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