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Good at Maths
'Dr. Smith is checking a little boy named Tom.
Placing the stethoscope he said,

'Naughty boy, now take a long breath and say Five, three times.'

Tom is great at math. He always gets 100 out of 100. He said quickly, 'Doctor, its 15!!

 

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Profit and Loss
Wife asks: Why is that in all marriages the bride sits on the left & groom sits on the right side.

Husband Reply: Have you ever seen a profit and loss statement?
It follows the same logic. All income is posted on the right side and expenses on the left side.

 

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New Generation
Facebook: Last seen 8 secs ago.
Wats app: Last seen 4 secs ago.
Text book: Last seen 8 months ago..

:)

 

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Once a man ran to the Doctor,'

My wife accidentally drank some petrol. Now she is running in the house. What should I do?'

Doctor: Show her stop signal.

 

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Exam Hall
sir : if any dought ask me

student : sir, in question paper question is there but in answer paper no answer is there

 

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Wife Isn'T In The Car
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

 

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Celebrating An Event
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

 

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New style of break up:
A boy gifted a diwali rocket to GF.
GF: What the hell is this?
Boy: u wanted stars na now sit on dis n get lost!

 

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Love Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die,
I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy!"
"Yes, I know that. I've suffered all these years; so let him suffer now."

 

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Tim: You know Jim; foolish people believe everything without any doubt.

Jim: Do you have any doubt about it?

Tim: Nope.

 

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You are one very lucky lady!
Manfred is riding a bicycle and he accidently hits an older woman

Johnny: You are one very lucky lady!
Old lady: Why?
Johnny: Usually I drive a truck

 

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All Hua...

A chines couple,
Mr Hua & Mrs Hua
got twin babies after marriage.
They named them, Jo-Hua , So-Hua.
Next year they got one more baby.
They named Ye-Kya-Hua

 

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INTERESTING FACT

A Woman Worries Until She Gets A Husband,

A Man Never Worries About The Future Until He Gets A Wife

 

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Great lines By Bus Conductor
"change cannot be given to you everytime."
"You only Must Bring d Change..."
Great lines said by...

Bus Conductor...

 

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An old man's t shirt quote
I am not 60 I am 16 with 44 years of experience

 

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Son: I Don't Want to Go to School
Mom: Why.?
Son: Want to work
Mom: What Work Will You Do With UKG Knowledge.
Son: Take Tution for LKG GIRLS..

 

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Clever Father
Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don't know what to do?
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them.

 

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Worried man to a Psychologist:
My wife treats me as if I were a dog.

Psychologist: Does she abuse you? Hit you? Starve you?

Man: No worse, she wants me to be faithful.

 

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Define Guts

Entering late in class
having spicy hair color,
I-pod in 1 ear, ph on the other side n saying 2 mam "Hey sweety dont wait 4 me, carry on BABY !"

 

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Boy : You Look Exactly Like My Wife....
Girl : Ohhh... What's Your Wife's Name..

Boy : I'm Not Married Yet... ;-)


Moral : Learn New Methods To Propose.. ! :)

 

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