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  • Sharpen your garbage disposal blades by putting ice in it and running it, deoderize with vinigar and baking soda.
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  • My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience" he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else. "We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well," said the hiring manager. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?" My friend replied, "I couldn't swim." He got the job.
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  • We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. Buck Henry
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