Patient: "Doctor, I’ve been seeing these strange spots everywhere I look."
Doctor: leans in "Hmm, that doesn’t sound good. How long has this been happening?"
Patient: "For days now, and it’s driving me crazy!"
Doctor: thoughtfully "Have you seen an optometrist?"
Patient: confused "No, just spots."
Rating
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Its carrot!
Rating
Have you heard the joke about yoga. Nevermind its a bit of a stretch.
Rating
HR- There is two years gap in your CV Candidate- Yes Ma'am I was in jail. HR- Why? candidate- I Killed HR who told me "We Will Let You Know". HR- Welcome to our Company.
Rating
When students are bright, what does a teacher do? She wears sunglasses.
Rating
Why did the principal go to the bank?
To check his principal balance!
Rating
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Rating
Why can't you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.
Rating
How does an attorney sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other side.
Rating
Why did the mother-in-law bring a ladder to the wedding? Because she heard the bride and groom were "tying the knot" and she wanted to make sure she could still be the top tier!
Rating
Why did the big brother take a ladder to school? Because he heard the high school had too many steps!
Rating
Mother: Why are you always on your phone? Daughter: Well, Mom, I'm just keeping up with the latest trends and news. Mother: Trends and news? All I see you doing is texting your friends! Daughter: That's true, Mom. I have to stay updated on the latest gossip to share with you!
Rating
Mother: Why did you ask for money again? Daughter: Because I want to buy something nice for you, Mom! Mother: Oh, that's sweet. What are you planning to get me? Daughter: A wallet, so you won't have to keep giving me money!
Rating
Mother: Why did you take so long to come home from school today? Daughter: Well, Mom, I had to stay after for a study group. Mother: That's good to hear. What were you studying? Daughter: The art of avoiding your questions, Mom!
Rating
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
Rating
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Rating
Patient: "Doctor, I've swallowed a pillow." Doctor: "How do you feel?" Patient: "A little soft on the inside."
Rating
Child - Mom, I'm cold!
Mom - Go stand in the corner.
Child - Why?
Mom - Because it's 90 degrees!
Rating
Patient: "Doctor, I'm addicted to Twitter."
Doctor: "I'm sorry, I don't follow you."
Rating
MOM : “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.” SON : “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.” MOM : “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.” SON : “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.” MOM : “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.” SON : “Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?” MOM : “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school”
Rating