Why did the doctor become a chef? Because they wanted to cure hunger pains!
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
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Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
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Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a teacher who never frowns? A geometry teacher, because they always stay positive!
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Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
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Why did the banana go to the party?
Because it was a-peeling affair!
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What do you call a chapati that tells jokes? A "flapjack" comedian!
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Why did the cow go to space?
Because it wanted to see the moooon!
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Why did the pimple apply for a job? Because it wanted to finally pop up in the working world!
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I asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."
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Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
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Bread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
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The past, present, and future walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
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MOM - What did you do in school today? KID - We played a guessing game! MOM - I thought you had a math test? KID - That is what the teacher called it too!
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Dinner with Chess Champion I was having dinner with chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
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A Man Drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table. She says, "I want you to see this". She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says feeling that she has made the point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying, "if I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
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What cartoon mouse walks on two feet? -Mickey Mouse What duck walks on two feet? -Donald Duck No, all ducks do!
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