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In Time of Corona : I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received from the staff in the last 10 years.

 

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Don’t worry, the Corona Virus won’t last long… It was made in China.

 

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One company owner ask another. Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings? Bill Replies: Easy "30 employees and 20 parking spaces"

 

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After English Exam

How was the paper?
It was easy but question 5 confused me a lot. What was the question?

Question 5 wanted the past tense of 'think', I thought & thought & thought and end up with writing "Thinked"

 

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Why do we write 'etc' at the end in he exam?
Because it means
E-End of
T-Thinking
C-Capacity

 

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Mom: What are you doing?
Father: Recording Baby's Cry
Mom: Why?
Father: When he grows up I shall ask him what he meant by this....

 

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English Man : What is this?
Dukan Dar : This is Dahi
English Man : What is Dahi?
Dukan Dar : Milk Sleep at night and Morning become tight..

 

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A man boards a Kingfisher flight from Delhi to Mumbai and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she's heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right next to his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks "Business trip or vacation?" She turns, smiles.

 

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ITNI RAAT KO MAKEUP KYUN LAGA RAHI HO?
PHONE KO FACE LOCK SE LOCK KIYA THA AB WITHOUT MAKEUP UNLOCK NAHI HO RAHA.

 

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Why Love Maariage is better than arrange
Because "A Known Devil is better than an unknown Ghost"

 

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At late night wife's smartphone beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry. He wakens his wife. Husband (angrily); who is this person saying beautiful??? Surprised wife checks her mobile. Wife (double angrily): hey. use your spectacles. It is not beautiful. It is battery full.

 

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What is the height of Misunderstanding?
Man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before...

 

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1 day god erased a men's memory and asked: 'do you remember anyone now". Man replied: Yes my wife name and God Smiled and said: "Reformatted but, still the Virus Is Not Removed"

 

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Dad: Did you pass in the exam? Munni: Our Whole class passed but our teacher failed. Dad: How...? Munni: She is stills teaching the same class..

 

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Teacher: What is a line? Student: A line is a dot that's going for a walk. Teacher: Than what is parallel lines? Student: A dot going for a walk with his girlfriend.

 

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Teacher: Today we are going to talk about the tenses. Now if I say "I am Beautiful"
which tense is it?

Student: Obviously it is the Past tense.

 

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Boy: What do you think about our love
Girl: Try to count the stars in the sky
Boy: Aww... Its infinite?
Girl: No, its waste of time..

 

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Wife: Had your lunch?
Husband: Had your lunch?
Wife: I am asking you
Husband: I am asking you
Wife: You copying me?
Husband: You Copying me.
Wife: Lets go Shopping
Husband: Yes I had my lunch..

 

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A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed 'Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.' The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"

 

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A lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, “I saw the whole thing. I’ll take either side.”

 

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