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Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. B. F. Skinner


The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood. Logan Pearsall Smith


Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Robert Benchley


Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?' Steven Wright


Nothing ever goes away. Barry Commoner


It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them. Dame Rose Macaulay


I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things. Lech Walesa


Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot. Ellen DeGeneres


Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit: and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club. Thomas H. Huxley


I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.' Unknown


There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. David Letterman


Go, and never darken my towels again. Groucho Marx


When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision. Lord Falkland


We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. Buck Henry


In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. Thomas Pickering


What happens when the future has come and gone? Robert Half


If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had. I. F. Stone


There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts. Voltaire


More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen


When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. Bernard Bailey

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