If you don't know what to do, call the media and at least give the appearance of doing something. David Peterson
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. John Kenneth Galbraith
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy. W. C. Fields
You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show. Mitch Hedberg
The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking. Louis Vermeil
No human thing is of serious importance. Plato
The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught. Marquis de Vauvenargues
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. Mahatma Gandhi
The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe seems to be missing. William J. Broad
The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used to acquire it. Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. Soren Kierkegaard
The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war. E. B. White
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. Fred Allen
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. Josh Billings
Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labor in it, but they labor in it because they excel. William Hazlitt
Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don't. Louis C. K
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. Wilson Mizner
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. Samuel Goldwyn
She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.Henry James
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