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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers


Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Fred Allen


Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else. James Thorpe


There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. Sir Winston Churchill


Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. Marilyn Manson


You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. Doris Egan


You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. Eric Hoffer


Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. Robert Byrne


Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse. Miguel de Cervantes


What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen? Evelyn Waugh


The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. G. K. Chesterton


It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability. Francois de La Rochefoucauld


I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. Ludwig Wittgenstein


No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. Elbert Hubbard


A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. Wilson Mizner


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. H. L. Mencken


Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. Woody Allen


Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. Sir Ralph Richardson


An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens. Robert Benchley


The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away. Ronald Reagan

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