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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers

 

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Fred Allen

 

Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else. James Thorpe

 

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. Sir Winston Churchill

 

Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. Marilyn Manson

 

You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. Doris Egan

 

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. Eric Hoffer

 

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. Robert Byrne

 

Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse. Miguel de Cervantes

 

What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen? Evelyn Waugh

 

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. G. K. Chesterton

 

It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability. Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. Ludwig Wittgenstein

 

No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. Elbert Hubbard

 

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. Wilson Mizner

 

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. H. L. Mencken

 

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. Woody Allen

 

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. Sir Ralph Richardson

 

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens. Robert Benchley

 

The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away. Ronald Reagan

 
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