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A girl was crying bitterly.

Mom: What happened dear?

Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch?

Mom: No!

Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?

Mom: No!

Daughter: Is my nose flat?

Mom: No baby!

Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog?

Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!

Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?
 
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Once old man asks:
When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why.
But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why..!!!
 
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compromise with your wife

Man: How did you compromise with your wife?
Husband: She came to me on her feet.
Man: and what she said?
Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything...
 
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Come in my heart and stay here forever
A boy said to a girl:-"Come in my heart and stay here forever".
Girl replied:-"Should i remove my sleepers???"
boy,"No honey, its not a temple , come without removing!!!!!"
 
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Factory Workers
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
 
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On the bus
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."
 
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Complan Boy & Santoor Girl
CAT: how old ru?
ELEPHANT: 5 years
CAT: but u look big?
ELEPHANT: I'm a complan boy
CAT: I'm 30 yrs old.
ELEPHANT: 30? U LOOK SO
SMALL
CAT: I'm a "santoor girl"
 
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why to study
Ocean full of syllabus
River full of questions
Bucket level we study
Mug level we answer
&
Marks comes like a drop
then why to study fool ..!!

 
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Doctor & Engineer loves

Doctor & Engineer loves a same girl.
Engineer before going to out-station for a week,
gave 7 Apples to the girl. Why ??
Bcoz an Apple a day keeps the doctor away
 
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Heaven is when u have

Heaven is when u have German car American salary, Chinese food & Indian wife
hell is when car is Chinese, food is German, wife is American and salary Indian
 
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That means I have really

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27.

The receptionist goes,checks the room, comes back to the phone and tells him that there is no one in that room. The room is empty.

Good, says the man. That means I have really escaped!

 
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Good Understanding
Good Unerdtsanding Btewene Ecah Ohter Is Rael FierndSihp! Eevn If We Hvae So Mnay MsiUnerdsantndig Lkie Tish Msseaeg, Btu i Konw U Cna Raed WtihOtu Msitkae!
 
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why fire engine red in color
Why is the fire engine red in color?Engine red in color? Color?Bcoz fire engine has a ladder..A lader has steps.. Steps come from a foot..A foot is measured by a ruler.A ruler can b a king or a queen. Elizabeth was queen of england. Elizbeth was also name of ship.Ship floats on water.Water has fish.Fishes have fins. Fins are people of finland.The national flag of finland is red. So fire engine is red in color.. This is a sample of how we attempt our exam
 
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U R great sir Starting salary is ok but:
Boss: im giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it ok?
Employee: U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k. but??
 
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No Other Work
You think of me & i think of you. When we both think of each other, do you know what it means?

It means we both..

have no other work to do!
 
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Climbing Coconut tree
Boy 2 girl : Hey if i climb this coconut tree,
i can see Engineering college babes.
Girl : Leave both hands from there,
u can see medical college babes
 
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Hear everything but understand nothing
Doctor implants a New Ear 2 a man.
man:"U idiot,U gave me a woman's ear"
Doc: It makes no difference
MAN: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"
 
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Benefit Of Eating Spinach

Teacher: What's D Benefit Of Eating Spinach?

Student: Eat Spinach & U'll Grow Up Big & Strong Lyk POPYE
But
U'll Also End Up With A Girlfriend Who L00ks Like OLIVE
 
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25th anniversary

Wife: where'll u take me on our 10th aniversary?
Hsband: We'll go 2 African jungle safari.
Wife: Nice. And on our 25th aniversary?
Husband: I'll bring u back.
 
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A little kid
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I would be a little bull."

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!"

The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver.
 
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