Overheard a man and his wife were having an intense fight when the wife told him to get out. The husband packed his things and as he was leaving, the wife said "I hope you have a slow agonising death." The husband replied "oh, so now you want me to stay?"Rating
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day. Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one everyday.Rating
Husband: Honey..... What are You Looking for?
Wife : Nothing.
Husband : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Wife : I was just looking for the expire date.RatingA failed businessman to his fat wife:
You are my only investment in life that has doubled.Rating
I asked my Heart :
Why can't I sleep at night ?
My Heart told me :
Because you have already slept in
the afternoon.RatingWhen I was Studying My Mom Was calling me..
But I did not respond..
I was deeply involved in Studies But
she Called me again n again I shouted Plz Leave me to Study, My exam is near plz I want to Study,
I want to Study...
My Mom Slapped
me and said Stop Dreaming "Wake up n Study..RatingWife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot..
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boy friend and i denied him for marriage.
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!!RatingDuring an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to her.
Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.RatingDad's writes on son's Facebook wall:
"Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!RatingHusband (frantically calls up Hotel Manager from his hotel room):
Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump off the window of your hotel.
Manager: Sir, I am sorry, But it's your personal matter.
Husband: Idiot, the window is not opening!!RatingLecturePolice arrested a drunkard & asked where are you going? Man: I am going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking . Cop: Who will lecture at midnite? Man: My Wife.RatingA Boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Bay says yes, I saw dad!RatingDoes the New One works?
Wife:I have changed my mind
Husband:Thank God! Does the new one work now?RatingPerfect Liar
Everything about you is perfect your lips, your skin, your eyes, perfect! you're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me , who was born liar.RatingMy Wife Saw U
After robbing the Bank, robber to Clerk: Did you see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes
Robber:Shoot him dead & asked the next clerk did u?
2nd Clerk: No, But my wife saw you!RatingGenuine Reason
A Genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!RatingPeaceful Life
Why Women live a better, longer & peaceful life?
Because, Women don't have a wife.Ratingcomplaints about you
Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.Rating
Importance of Second LanguageA family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."RatingA Women's Prayer Dear Lord I Pray for Wisdom to Understand my Man; love to forgive him and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death.Rating
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