Father'S Occupation
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year.
"He's a magician," said the small boy.
"How interesting! What's his favourite trick?"
"Sawing people in half."
"Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"Yes. One half-brother and two half-sistersRating
Impact Of Job Change
A passenger tap on the shoulder of cab driver to ask a question. The driver screamed, lost control and dashed to divider. He asked the passenger not to do it again.Passenger- I didn't realisize that a tap will make you so imbalance. Driver- Today is my first day as cab driver. For last 25 years I have been driving a van carrying dead bodies.Rating
Standing In Front Of The Door
Mr Been: He is standing in front of the door.
Wife:Why r u standing in front of the door?
Mr Been: I want to kill tiger.
Wife: Then go.
Mr Been: In front of me there is a dog.RatingDad Can I Have 50rs?
Me: Dad can I have 50Rs?
Dad: 40Rs? What do you need 30Rs for? 20Rs is more than enough! Here's 10Rs now give your brother halfRatingWhat is the most popular game played by Politicians?
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MUSICAL CHAIRRatingyes and no
Father: Do you have a trouble making decisions?
Son: well, yes and no !!!Ratingone more addition chapter
Father: What will happen if the third war takes place?
Son: We will have one more addition chapter in our history book!RatingFather to son:
whenever i beat you,
you don't get annoyed,
how you control your anger?
son: i start cleaning the toilet.
seat with your toothbrushRatingAfter marriage - simply read from bottom to top
Boyfriend: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girlfriend: Do you want me to leave?
Boyfriend: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girlfriend: Do you love me?
Boyfriend: Of course! Over and over!
Girlfriend: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boyfriend: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girlfriend: Will you kiss me?
Boyfriend: Every chance I get!
Girlfriend: Will you hit me?
Boyfriend: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girlfriend: Can I trust you?
Boyfriend: Yes.
Girlfriend: Darling!Rating
A Girl Died & went To Heaven
A Girl died & went to Heaven...
God was shocked to see her heart still
beating..!!
God asked, "How come your heart is still
beating"..????
Girl replied, "I'm dead but my lover is still
living
in my
heart"...
The Girl was sent to Hell for Over-acting..RatingA girl was crying bitterly.
Mom: What happened dear?
Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch?
Mom: No!
Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?
Mom: No!
Daughter: Is my nose flat?
Mom: No baby!
Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog?
Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!
Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?RatingOnce old man asks:
When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why.
But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why..!!!Ratingcompromise with your wife
Man: How did you compromise with your wife?
Husband: She came to me on her feet.
Man: and what she said?
Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything...RatingCome in my heart and stay here forever
A boy said to a girl:-"Come in my heart and stay here forever".
Girl replied:-"Should i remove my sleepers???"
boy,"No honey, its not a temple , come without removing!!!!!"RatingFactory Workers
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."RatingOn the bus
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."RatingComplan Boy & Santoor Girl
CAT: how old ru?
ELEPHANT: 5 years
CAT: but u look big?
ELEPHANT: I'm a complan boy
CAT: I'm 30 yrs old.
ELEPHANT: 30? U LOOK SO
SMALL
CAT: I'm a "santoor girl"Ratingwhy to study
Ocean full of syllabus
River full of questions
Bucket level we study
Mug level we answer
&
Marks comes like a drop
then why to study fool ..!!RatingDoctor & Engineer loves
Doctor & Engineer loves a same girl.
Engineer before going to out-station for a week,
gave 7 Apples to the girl. Why ??
Bcoz an Apple a day keeps the doctor awayRatingHeaven is when u have
Heaven is when u have German car American salary, Chinese food & Indian wife
hell is when car is Chinese, food is German, wife is American and salary IndianRating
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