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Reality of Indians!
-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges.
-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB's tomanage the First Class students.
-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.
-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses.
-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them.

 

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All Woman are Mother
Teacher : if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??

 

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page 50 to 55
Teacher: From where to where foreigner ruled us?
Student: I am not sure but I think from page 50 to 55...

 

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Same Blood Group
Doctor - You and your wife having same blood group.

Patient - Yeah off course since 25 years she is sucks my blood.

 

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It's imagination.''First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that''s vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.'

 

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Give him an opportunity to speak
A lady to doctor: My husband has the habit of talking in sleep! What should i give him to cure?

Doctor: Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake.

 

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Me or your Wife?

The Smart Husband
Once Mom asked:
Whom do you Love more?
Me or your Wife?
Husband replied: I don't know..
but your Love makes me forget my Wife
&
Her Love & care reminds me of You!

 

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Do Exercise Daily For Good Health

Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Patient: Sir, i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: How long do you play?
Patient: Until the battery in my mobile goes down !!!

 

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so you have no brain
Teacher: Can you see God?
Class: No
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Class: No
Teacher: Then there is no God!
(Few minutes later)
Student: Sir, can you see your brain?
Teacher: No
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Teacher: No
Student: Oho ok, so you have no brain!

 

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Wikipedia:" I know everything..
.
Google:" I have everything..
.
Facebook:" I know everybody..
.
Internet:" without me u r nobody
.
Electricity:" Awaaz Niche.

 

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Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster,
what will happen?"

Candidate:"We will get our salary everyday" :D
Think Greedily

 

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In a Grammar class :
Teacher:- "HE does not like girls"

What is 'He' in this sentence. .
Student :- Gay. . .

 

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LADY : Doctor please call in my husband.

DOCTOR : Trust me, I am a gentleman.

LADY : No doc, your nurse is sitting outside alone and my husband is not a gentleman. :P

 

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Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

 

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No use to me
A librarian said to a man asking for a thriller: 'I can recommend you this book. It is a hair-raising story.'
'No use to me,' said the reader, 'I'm bald-headed.'

 

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What Is In My Bag A Fool Said:

First stupid (another idiot) - they tell you what's in my bag so I'm gonna give all my eggs in bag |
Another stupid - man, some wherebouts So tell me |
The first fool - that thing up in white and yellow - pale |
Another stupid - Then why not call it the carrot is camouflaged within radish |

 

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Who Is The Most Obedient

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?"

Five small voices answered in unison, "Okay, dad, you get the toy."

 

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Got be filled in CAPITAL
Devindar went into The Bank of India and asked to open a current account. The cashier was surprised when Devindar left the building saying he would return after he had been to Delhi.
When asked why he was visiting Delhi, he retorted that the application form said: 'Got be filled in CAPITAL.

 

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chemical formula of water
Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water?
One student: Its "h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o."
Teacher: What is this?
Student: Mam, yesterday you told us that it is H to O !!

 

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6 times 7 is ?
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It is 42 mam!"
Teacher: "great, and who will tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It 24 mam."

 

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