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I went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into my house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" I said. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"Rating
HUSBANDS ARE THE BEST PEOPLE TO SHARE YOUR SECRETS WITH...
THEY WLL NEVER TELL ANYONE BECAUSE THEY AREN'T EVEN LISTENINGRating
One day at school....
Teacher: Varun, answer me. What do you wanna be when you grow up.
Varun: Teacher, I wish to become a very rich man. My business should be in all major cities. I should buy a big bungalow. I will always travel by air. Wherever I go into should stay in 5 star hotels. There should be minimum 10 servants to take care of my needs. I should own the costliest car. I should have the costliest diamond.
Teacher: Stop Varun. Students, henceforth you should not give such lengthy answer. Please reply in a sentence. Ok. Now you tell me Pooja. What do you want to be?
Pooja: Varun's wife ..RatingWomen should rule the world there would be no wars.......
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each otherRatingWorried husband 😳to his guru swamiji: Swamiji, sometimes in the midnight when I wake up I have seen my wife's face glittering behind the blanket as if god's light is entering her body... what a miracle swamiji. What does it mean O Swami....!?
Swamiji: ✋Vatsa, before you go to sleep, don't forget to lock your phone.. It means she is checking your phone calls and messages..RatingWife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot..."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"RatingInterviewer : Do you participate in any dangerous activities ?
,
,
,
Me : Yes, Sometimes I disagree with my wife !!RatingA boy met a girl in Metro....
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy: Awwww.......Are you single?
Girl: No, I am a Dentist.Rating21st June.....India declares International yoga day.
22nd June....millions of people who did yoga on 21st June wake up with severe body aches and pain.
23rd June....Thailand declares International Massage Day.RatingGet Married Not for Yourself,
But for the future of your children,
They are getting late for school
and Fees are increasing day by day
RatingMen will always be Men 😉
Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra.
Their guide explained to them that they might see some pretty ladies on the way
and they should not get distracted at all.
When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on.
Next day they started the yatra and
one of the men in the group said- "HARI OM"
and rest of them - "WHERE WHERE!"Rating45yr man asks wife "do u feel sad wen u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: "No not at all darling,its harmless, even dogs chase cars but they cant Drive!RatingWife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
💃Wife : Hi, how are u
😎Husband: Mmmm....i am fine.
💃Wife : What did you eat for lunch?
😎Husband : Oh Ho....every day keep asking the same questions. What did you eat, whom did you meet, what did you listen to..".
💃Wife: Oh!! Ok Ok, tell me how should RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the Money Markets? And what should be the role of Finance Ministry to control inward Foreign remittances? ??
😎Husband : (after few seconds silence).... I had sambar rice, salad n curd rice with pickle".
....... Dedicated to those husbands who still underestimate intelligence of their wivesRatingTo all the Ladies of this World--
The greatest problem with wives is that...
They listen half,
understand quarter,
think zero,
react double
and remember forever.RatingGuide: I welcome you all to
Niagara Falls.. These are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now I request the indian ladies to keep quiet
so that we can hear the NiagaraRatingYou need to call a woman twice.
First time that she could find the phone in her bag,
second - to answerRatingSmart Wife to Husband...
Will you take me out for shopping in the evening?.....
Your options are...
A~YES...
B~A
C~BRatingThe Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced: " Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life. Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and said...... My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!" 💳
The whole audience burst into laughter😄😄.....
But one was in complete silence...
The GroomRatingMy husband asked me " what are you doing today?".
I said " nothing".
he said " but you did that yesterday ".
I said " So what
I could not finish it yesterday. "RatingFriend 1 : What are you doing bro??
Friend 2 : Just finished Dinner with wife... and now holding Scotch...
Friend 1 : wow which... Black Label or Red Label???
Friend 2 : "Scotch Brite"
Utensil cleaner...Rating
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