New Teacher: All students introduce your name and hobbies
1st boy: My name is Jack and my hobby is watching the moon.
2nd boy: My name is Dave and hobby is watching the moon.
3rd boy: My name is Patrick & my hobby is watching the moon.
(All boys told their different names but the hobby was same)
New Teacher: Good, all boys have the same hobby, Now its girl’s turn.
1st girl: Hi, my name is moon…
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Girl: OMG, You look so much better when you don’t wear your glasses
Boy: Well, You look better when I don’t wear my glasses too.
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A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.
A policeman arrives.
Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car!
Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off.
Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!
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Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc.
Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
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Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit?
Girl: Old man.
Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE.
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Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle
William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light
Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?
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John: Do you have a girlfriend Harry?
Harry: Yes John
John: Nice. Where is she from?
Harry: From a different nation
John: Oh really? Which nation?
Harry: From my imagiNATION.
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David: I love her so much
Richard: She’s just 14 and you are 28
David: Age is just a number
Richard: And jail is just a room
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Two terrorists having discussion in a bar,
The waiter asks them what the discussion was about.
Terrorist: We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.
Waiter: Why a donkey?
Then one terrorist says to the other, “See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand peopleâ€.
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Harry and Julian are text each other after a long time
Harry: Hi Julian how are you?
Julian: I’m doing well. How are you?
Harry: I’m doing great.
Harry: I just wanna ask you a question
Julian: Sure buddy.
Harry: My Girlfriend typed IDK and TTYL. What is that mean?
Julian: I Don’t Know. Talk To You Later.
Harry: Ok, I will ask you whenever you are free.
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Henry: Hey Jacob, How’s everything?
Jacob: I’m good buddy. How are you?
Henry: I’m good too.
After a long chat
Jacob: Shall we play truth or dare game?
Henry: Sure
Jacob: Truth or dare?
Henry: Truth
Jacob: Alright, have you ever lie to me?
Henry: I mean dare. Damn you autocorrect.
Jacob: Alright, I dare you to answer the question.
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Richard and Steve are text each other after a long time. In the middle of the conversation
Richard: Hey dude, I’m bored. Tell me a good joke.
Steve: Sure.
Steve: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
Richard: I don’t know. How?
After one minute
Richard: I’m waiting for your answer
After three minutes
Richard: Hellooooooooooo
After five minutes
Richard: Why don’t you answer?
Steve laughing without sends him a reply.
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Steve makes a call to Jude after a long time
Steve: Hi Jude, How are you mate?
Jude: I’m good and happy to hear from you after a long time.
Steve: Yes Jude, I’m little busy here. Anyway, I called you because wanna congratulate you.
Jude: Thank you very much, Steve. It’s so nice.
Steve: Today is one of the happiest days in your life. So enjoy the day.
Jude: But my marriage is fixed for tomorrow.
Steve: That’s why I said, today is one of your happiest days.
Jude cut the phone connection and Steve laughs on the floor.
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They say milk gives strength.
I drank 4 cups and couldn’t move a wall.
But when I took 4 bottles of beers,
I saw the wall moving itself.
These scientists should better stop their lies.
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What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
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A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!â€
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …â€
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Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
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Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?â€
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!†shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.â€
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