- Customer: Do you sell time machines?
Shopkeeper: Not yet. Come back yesterday.
Rating:
Rate
- Why do software engineers prefer dark mode?
Because the light attracts bugs!
Rating:
Rate
- My bed and I love each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Rating:
Rate
- What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner
Rating:
Rate
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Rating:
Rate
- Student - "Professor, I don’t think I deserve this zero on my test."
Professor - "I agree, but it’s the lowest grade I can give."
Student - "So, you’re saying I earned it?"
Professor - "No, I’m saying you tried your best... to not study!"
Student - "Effort recognized, finally!"
Rating:
Rate
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
Rating:
Rate
- Patient: "Doctor, I’ve been seeing these strange spots everywhere I look."
Doctor: leans in "Hmm, that doesn’t sound good. How long has this been happening?"
Patient: "For days now, and it’s driving me crazy!"
Doctor: thoughtfully "Have you seen an optometrist?"
Patient: confused "No, just spots."
Rating:
Rate
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Its carrot!
Rating:
Rate
- Have you heard the joke about yoga. Nevermind its a bit of a stretch.
Rating:
Rate
- HR- There is two years gap in your CV Candidate- Yes Ma'am I was in jail. HR- Why? candidate- I Killed HR who told me "We Will Let You Know". HR- Welcome to our Company.
Rating:
Rate
- When students are bright, what does a teacher do? She wears sunglasses.
Rating:
Rate
- Why did the principal go to the bank?
To check his principal balance!
Rating:
Rate
- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Rating:
Rate
- Why can't you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.
Rating:
Rate
- How does an attorney sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other side.
Rating:
Rate
- Why did the mother-in-law bring a ladder to the wedding? Because she heard the bride and groom were "tying the knot" and she wanted to make sure she could still be the top tier!
Rating:
Rate
- Why did the big brother take a ladder to school? Because he heard the high school had too many steps!
Rating:
Rate
- Mother: Why are you always on your phone? Daughter: Well, Mom, I'm just keeping up with the latest trends and news. Mother: Trends and news? All I see you doing is texting your friends! Daughter: That's true, Mom. I have to stay updated on the latest gossip to share with you!
Rating:
Rate
- Mother: Why did you ask for money again? Daughter: Because I want to buy something nice for you, Mom! Mother: Oh, that's sweet. What are you planning to get me? Daughter: A wallet, so you won't have to keep giving me money!
Rating:
Rate
Font Size: