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Difference Between Foolish man & Wise Man
A FOOLISH man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
 
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I was A Fool
Wife : Honey , I was A Fool When I Married You
Husband : Yes Dear , But i was in love and didn't notice it

 
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Fortune And Wealth
Wife : Do you love me because my dad left me a fortune?

Husband : Who says? I will love you no matter who left you the fortune.
 
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Smart Wife
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
 
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Relationship
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
 
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Absence of loveMost Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,
One loves too much,

and

The other loves too many.
 
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Two lovers plan to sucide.
Boyjumps first.
Girl close her eyes and returned back saying "Love is blind"
Boy in air opens his parachute and says "True love never dies."

 
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Wife: why don't you advised your friend to select his wife hence she is not a match with him?
husband: mmmm.... becoz he didn't advised me on that time

 
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I breathe a man dies

Bhola (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Pyarelal: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

 
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MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
 
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DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

 
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A gentle push!!!
wife: what will you do if i succesfully climb and reach the top of mount everest?

husband: a gentle push!!!
 
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A student grabbed a coin,

A student grabbed a coin,

Flipped it in the air & said,
"Head, I go to sleep."

Tail, I watch a movie.

If it stands on the edge I'll study.
 
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When I Was Born
When I was born, GOD said,
"Oh No! Another IDIOT".
When you were born, GOD said,
"OH NO! COMPETITION".
Who knew,
one day these Idiots will become
FRIENDS FOREVER!
 
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CIA: why criminals leave their fingerprints after doing their work?
Recruit: Sir, I Think they are illiterate, if they were literate, they would leave their signature for u.

 
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Undying Love?
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
 
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ABCD.....
A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING
 
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Surprised Long Drive
GIRL: Where are you taking me?
BOY: Long Drive!
GIRL: Wow... why didn't you tell me first?
BOY: Even I don't know that.
GIRL: How?
Boy: Bike Breaks are not working.
 
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Entrance Exam

Hi friends i got some funny sms i want to share with you Read & Enjoy it

1) Tortoise n Rabbit wrote entrance exam n tortoise got 80% n rabbit got 81%. Both wanted admission in a good Engineering college, cut off was 85%. Rabbit didn't get but tortoise got the admission even with 80%any guess as how?
?

?

?
U remember when we were in 1st standard tortoise won a race ......
Got the seat in sports quota.
 
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Car Driving Course
I saw an advertisement for a school that claimed it could teach anyone to drive a car in five minutes or less. I called them up and asked "How can you teach anyone to drive in five minutes or less?"
They answered "It's a crash course."
 
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