There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't. Robert Benchley
A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." Sir Arnold Bax
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. Peter Drucker
Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd. Allan Goldfein
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Scott Adams
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. Niels Bohr
Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. Lewis Carroll
The smaller the mind the greater the conceit. Aesop
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. Robert Frost
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi
Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness? Artemus Ward
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Unknown
It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. Unknown
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. Eleanor Roosevelt
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. Mitch Hedberg
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. Ambrose Bierce
For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum. J. W. Schopf
He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical. G. K. Chesterton
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert. Demetri Martin
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