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Girl : Dad…I’m in love…

Its love on 2nd sight!!☺

Dad : What’s love on 2nd sight?

Girl : When I saw him 1st, he was buying Manikchand Gutka…

When I saw him again…he was spitting out of his Audi?
 
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What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"
 
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Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.
 
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A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
 
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If big elephants have big trunks, do small elephants have suitcases?
 
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A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?

B: It's because your feet aren't empty.
 
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A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
 
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My mum said, “I’m not happy with your school report.”

I said, “Okay.”

She said, “I want more A's”.

I replied, “OKAAAAAAAAAY.”
 
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Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
 
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Teacher: How much is a gram?


Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need
 
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Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me
 
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Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: You have a hole in one.
 
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Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is.

 
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कल एक साधू बाबा मिले,
मैंने पूछा – कैसे हैं बाबाजी.?
बाबाजी बोले – हम तो साधू हैं बेटा….
हमारा “राम” हमें जैसे रखता है हम वैसे ही रहते हैं…..
तुम तो सुखी हो ना बच्चा..?

मैं बोला — हम तो संसारी लोग हैं बाबाजी
हमारी “सीता” हमें जैसे रखती है, हम वैसे ही रहते हैं..।
 
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The guy who stole my diary just died.

My thoughts are with his family.
 
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David: I love her so much
Richard: She’s just 14 and you are 28
David: Age is just a number
Richard: And jail is just a room
 
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A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigator”
The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job?
Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.
 
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Today was my first day entering a court.
The judge shouted “Order, Order!!”
I was so excited,
So I shouted back “fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.”
I am now locked up in a dark room.
I am sure they will bring my order soon.
 
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My girlfriend’s birthday is in two days.
And she told me “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring”.
So I bought her nothing!
 
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There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
 
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