Responsible
Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job."
"Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."Rating
Great Men
A tourist comes to visit India and he sees a villager.
He asks a question to him:
Tourist: Any great men born in this village?
Villager: No sir, only small babies!!!Rating
Shaking Hands
Man goes to the doctor and says doctor, I can't stop my hands from shaking!
Doctor replies Do you drink much?
Man says No, I spill most of it!Rating
Always Right
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.RatingPoor Dreamer
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...RatingDoor Bell
Ek bachha door bell bajaane ki koshish kar raha tha. Ek old man ne dekha aur bell baja di.Aur bachhe se bola: Aur kuch beta? Bachha: Ab bhaago.RatingHuqum Jinn : Kya huqum hai mere Aaka ? Aaka: Mere account me jaldi se 10 crore rs aur katrina se shaadi 10 sec me karwa do. Jinn: Aaaka, huqum karo...bakwaas mat karo !!!RatingWoman I love
John: I'd like to buy the woman I love a little cottage in the country where we can always be together.
Henry: So why don't you?
John: My wife won't let me.RatingImpressive Steak Eaters
Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the others.
The first man ordered his steak "rare -- red rare."
The second said, "Just pass mine through the flames and singe it a little. I want to see blood dripping out of it."
Not to be outdone, the third man said, "Aw, just turn the bull loose and I'll tear off a hunk as he goes by."Rating
Fine For Dumping
The Sheriff pulls up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replies.
"That's why I am dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine for dumping garbage.'RatingThinnest Book
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What Men Know About Women
Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do better.
RatingA Ring
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?".Rating
Second Marraige
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."RatingSignboard
Sign in a bar: Those drinking to forget........ please pay in advance."RatingThree Boys
1st boy - my father drives the car so fast that some people fly away.
2nd boy - my father drives the car so fast that the people run away.
3rd boy - my father drives the car so fast that the car is in garage and father in hospital.RatingResearch
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.RatingJoking
Boy: My Father's name is Laughing and my Mother's name is Smiling.
Teacher: U must be Kidding.
Boy: No, That is my brother I am joking.RatingI look at your picture
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'RatingMarriage Certificate
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'RatingSnail
A snail walks into a bar and the bartender kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"Rating
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