Business Strategy
When my printer's type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."Rating
An Idiot
A wife was furious with her husband, saying, "You're an idiot. You have always been an idiot. You'll always be an idiot. If they had an idiot contest, you'd come in second."
"Why would I come in second?" the husband asked.
She replied, "Because you're an idiot!"Rating
Historic Finding
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"Rating
Worlds Strongest
After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to make a telephone call.
Since he didn't want anyone to take his drink, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The World's Strongest Weightlifter," and left it under his glass.
When he returned from making his call, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with new writing that said:
"Thanks for the treat!" It was signed, "The World's Fastest Runner."RatingWay of thinking
A prison governor is appalled by the poor standard of English used by the inmates of his prison. To rectify this problem he decides to employ a teacher from the local grammar school to set up remedial English classes.
In the first lesson, the teacher explains that she is going to start with the basics.
"Who knows what always comes after a sentence?" she asks.
All the prisoners answer together, "The appeal!"RatingMuch more inviting
A guy goes into the confessional box.
He finds on one wall afully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a long time since I've been to confession, but I must first say that the confessional box is much more inviting these days."
The priest replies, "Get out! You're on my side!!!"RatingBut why
Bert took his dog Bernard to the vet.
"Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."
The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?"
"Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."Rating
I am not missing
A Farmer's donkey was missing. Farmer was praying and thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; Why are thanking God?"
Farmer: I am thanking Him that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would also have been missing.RatingBest compliment
Wife: (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me compliment?
Husband: Your eyesight is excellent !RatingSilent Wife!
Man: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!RatingWhat was that
Two Tigers were resting under a tree..
Suddenly a RABBIT passed very fast
Tiger could not make out & asked
"What was that?"
2nd Tiger smiled and said:
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Fast FoodRatingFiction
CustomerDo you have a book called Man, The Master of Women ?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.RatingDrunken StairsTwo drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"RatingShow him wrong
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."RatingControl over wife
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."RatingFree Love
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room and messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place -- you either married it or gave birth to it!RatingWhose Mom
Husband: Mom called me and she is coming tomorrow. Her train will reach by 4 O' Clock.
Wife: She came just four months back only,right? Why she is Coming now again?? Tomorrow is sunday I thought of getting up late but your mom had to come on a sunday itself and that too morning 4 O'clock .Where will she get an auto at that time?
Husband:Not my mom,your mom is coming
Wife: Wow Mom is coming, It's been more than 2 months I have seen her. Listen na,I have the number of the auto driver please call him and tell to come in time tomorrow morning. It's good tomorrow is sunday,even the kids will be at home as they don't have school. They can play with their grandmother.RatingWould you let her
Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?
Husband: No dear.
Wife: I'm sure you would.
Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.
Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Husband: Ya, I guess so.
Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.
Husband: No, she is taller than you.RatingIs it sun or moon?
Drunk man in a bar points towards sky and asks another drunk: Is it sun or moon?
Other drunk replied: I can't say what it is, because I am also new in the town.RatingGood Treatment
Patient: Doctor, I don't remember anything, sometimes on road I even forget if I am going to office from home or going back to home from office.
Doctor: In such a condition, you should check your tiffin. If it is empty then you are going to home, if it is full, you are going to office.Rating
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