Not A Fortune Teller
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I am a waiter,not a fortune teller
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Do you Serve Crabs ?
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
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$8 Bill
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.
He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.
The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
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Computer Chat
What did one computer say to the other?
010101101010101010101
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The Honest Lawyer
When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?
When his lips are shut.
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Engineering in Hell
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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Beautiful?
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, You're beautiful! and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said You're cute! Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of beautiful it was cute. She said What happened to beautiful ? His reply was The drugs are wearing off!
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Our Hindu Gods
Hindu Gods .
Brahma: System installer
Vishnu: System operator
Shiva: System programmer
Narad: Data Transmitter
Yama: Deleter
Apsara & Rambha: Virus
Ganapati: Anti virus
Hanuman: E-Mail
Chitragupta: Hard Disc
Saraswati: Internet explorer
Parvati: Mother Board
Lakshmi: ATM
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I Kissed Your Mom Last Night
In A Bar 1 Guy Says To Another: I Kissed Your Mom Last Night
Whole Bar Was Waiting For The Other Guy's Response.
He Laughs And Says: Lets Go Home Dad, You Are Drunk Now
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Which Of The Two Travels Faster?
Teacher: Which Of The Two Travels Faster, Heat Or Cold?
Student: 'Heat'
Teacher: What Makes You Think That?
Student: Because We Catch Cold
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You Are Handsome
Girl To Other Girl: You Are So Beautiful
Other Girl: Thank You Are Beautiful Too
Now
Boy To Another Boy: Hi, You Are Handsome
Other Boy: Gay Saala
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How To Teach Dance In Just 5 Sec?
How To Teach A Girl Dance In Just 5 Sec?
Simple The Best Answer Given By Pappu
Throw A Cockroach On Her.
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B-Silent Please
A Man Traveling First Time In Plane Going To Bombay,
While Landing, He Shouted: Bombay-Bombay
Air Hostess: B-Silent Please
Man Said: Ombay Ombay
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Wanted Wife?
An Unmarried Man Wrote His Status On Facebook As: Wanted Wife
Two Girls Like It.And 10,000 Men Commented: Please Take Ours
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Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl
1st Message: 'Let's Breakup Now, Its All Over
2nd Message: Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You
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I Am So Famous
I Am So Famous .
.
When I Go To The Mall.
.
.
The Door Opens Itself.
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Always The Same Question
Funny But Most True Fact:
When Two Beggars Meet Or Two Software Engineers Meet,
They Ask Each Other The Same Question,
So, Which Platform Are You Working On?
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When Did You Start Wearing Earnings?
Man Meets His Friend & Notices He's Wearing An Earring. When Did You Start Wearing Earnings?
Friend: Ever Since My Wife Found It In My Car
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What Is Mutual Exclusion ?
It Means You Skip Some Topics When You Study
And
The Person Who Sets The Paper, Skips The Topics Which You Have Studied.
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Definitely Needs A Salary Increase
Pappu To Boss: I Got To Definitely Have A Salary Increase, Three Other Companies Are After Me
Boss: Really? Which Are The Three Companies?
Pappu: The Electricity Company, The Telephone Company And The Gas Company
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