Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall:
"Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!
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Husband (frantically calls up Hotel Manager from his hotel room):
Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump off the window of your hotel.
Manager: Sir, I am sorry, But it's your personal matter.
Husband: Idiot, the window is not opening!!
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LecturePolice arrested a drunkard & asked where are you going? Man: I am going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking . Cop: Who will lecture at midnite? Man: My Wife.
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A Boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Bay says yes, I saw dad!
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Does the New One works?
Wife:I have changed my mind
Husband:Thank God! Does the new one work now?
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Perfect Liar
Everything about you is perfect your lips, your skin, your eyes, perfect! you're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me , who was born liar.
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My Wife Saw U
After robbing the Bank, robber to Clerk: Did you see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes
Robber:Shoot him dead & asked the next clerk did u?
2nd Clerk: No, But my wife saw you!
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Genuine Reason
A Genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
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Peaceful Life
Why Women live a better, longer & peaceful life?
Because, Women don't have a wife.
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complaints about you
Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
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Importance of Second LanguageA family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
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A Women's Prayer Dear Lord I Pray for Wisdom to Understand my Man; love to forgive him and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death.
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How True A Cigaratte shortens your life in 2 mins, A beer shortens your life in 4mins and a working day shortens your life in 8 hrs.
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As old as me
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
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Ladies first
Teacher : Correct the sentence, A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field?
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
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Jump out of the window!
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
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undying love.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
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I bet
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in
two days time?
Post Master : Well it might do.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Johor
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Choices
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
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Egypt Mummy
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
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