Different Stages A Man Face During His Life....
Before finding a Girl.....................Superman
After finding a Girl......................Spiderman
After Engaging with a Girl................Gentleman
After Marrying a Girl.....................Watchman
5 Years after marriage ...................Doberman !!!!Rating
share all your troubles
Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles
and sorrows.";
"But I don't have any, my love."
"I said, when we get married"RatingTelegram
Man receives a telegram- WIFE dead, should she be buried or cremated?
Man replied - don't take chances, burn the body and bury the ashes.RatingHead & neck of the familyA father was agruing with his daughter about her going out to a party.Shaking his head sidways he said he would not allow her to go as the head of the house. At that stage his wife stepped in and consoled her daughter saying if he is the "head" of the house then I am the "neck" and a neck can turn a head in any direction it likes.RatingHusband And Wife
Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!!
Husband: yes, that's y it's called heavenRating4 Wives
A friend of mine has 4 wives lives under the same roof cook,eat togather. Everytime I call him ask about the family answer is that they all doing wonderful. I was just wondered how that can be. So one day I just ask him how they get along especially living under the same roof. My friend said I just told them if they ever fight I will bring one more wife. Therefore they never fight.RatingBefore Getting Married
Before getting married I had SIX plans of bringing up my children
NOW I am married and I have SIX children and no plans...
Before getting married I told my girl friend i can through HELL for you,
now I am married and I am going THROUGH...Rating
Relationship
Wife to Husband : I wish to be a newspaper, so atleast i canbe in your arms. Husband : I wish the same, so atleast i can change u daily.RatingNew Number
After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him and got a woman. "Is Robert there?" I asked. "He's in the shower," she responded. "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.
When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Robert," he said.
"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.
"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."RatingFred And His Girl Friend
When Fred proposed to his girl friend she said, "I love the simple things in life, Wally, but I don't want one of them for a husband?.RatingSensible Girl
Boy: "You look like a sensible girl. Will you marry me?"
Girl: "No way. I'm quite as sensible as I look!"Rating
Half Off These Tickets
US Air recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"Rating
Difference Between Men And Women
Difference between Men and Women
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.RatingMan & His Wife
A guy and his wife were speeding down the interstate when a state cop pulls him over. The man says, "What's the problem officer?
Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you were going 80." Man gives his wife a dirty look.
Officer: "I will also give you a ticket for your broken tail light."
Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for months." Man gives his wife a dirty look.
Officer: "I will also give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."
Man turns to his wife and yells, "WITCH, shut your damn mouth"
The Officer turns to the woman and says, "Ma'm,does your husband talk to you this way all the time?? Wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."RatingOops
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months... I don't like to interrupt her.RatingWonder Why???????
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.RatingOtherwise!
The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.RatingKnows when to stop
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.
The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?"
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."RatingCar Was in the Lake
My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.Rating"Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry"
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?Rating
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