My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out of
the house.
Rating
Fainted Before.?
Doctor: Have you fainted ever before.
Patient: Yes, the last time you told me your fees.RatingWife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?
Husband: No dear.
Wife: I'm sure you would.
Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.
Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Husband: Ya, I guess so.
Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.
Husband: No, she is taller than you.RatingBoss: 'We Are Very Keen On Cleanliness. Did You Wipe Your Feets On The Mat As You Came In?
New Employee: Yes, Sir
Boss: We Are Also Keen On Truthfulness. There Is No MatRatingOne Day A Girls College Was Told They Had To Write A Short Essay In One Sentence.
The Short Essay Had To Contain The Following Three Things:
1. Religion
2. Sexuality
3. Mystery
Here Is The Only A+ Essay In The Entire College By A Girl That You Can't Imagine,
'Oh God, I Am Pregnant, I Wonder Who Did It.RatingAlcohol Is The Really A Worst Thing In The World
A Friend Drank A Lot Last Night And Ended Up Saying 'I Love You'
To His Own Wife
Can You Imagine That?RatingIn A Routine Checkup
Nurse To Engineer: Breathe Deeply In And Slowly Exhale, Do It 3 Times
Engineer: 'Ok'
Nurse: What Do You Feel Now?
Engineer: Your BODY SPRAY Is Simply Superb.RatingA 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!RatingA guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds! Good, replied his wife. Now you know how I always feel.RatingThe teacher was teaching in animal lesson.
Teacher: What does a pig do?
Student: it rolls around in mud.
Teacher: Good! What does a cow do?
Student: It makes milk!
Teacher: Great! Now, what does a crazy old monkey give you?
Student: Homework!RatingMan: How did you compromise with your wife?
Husband: She came to me on her feet.
Man: and what she said?
Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything..RatingOnce old man asks:
When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why.
But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why..!!!
RatingTwo student were chatting:
First: Do you know what is snake's favorite subject?
second:, no, you tell.
first: Hisssstory!!!RatingAfter robbing the bank, 1 robber to clerk : Did you see me robbing?
Clerk : Yes I saw u.
Robber killed him and asked to the next clerk : Did u?
Second Clerk : No, but my wife saw u!Rating
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"RatingA man comes home and sees a note on the refrigerator from his wife. She wrote, "This isn't working. I'm at my mother's." The man opens the fridge, the light turns on, and he says to himself, "What the hell? The fridge is working fine!"RatingI bought my wife a mood ring, and when she's in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.RatingMan said to God --- Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man --- So that you will love them.
Man said to God --- But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man --- So that they will love you.Rating
A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.RatingIf big elephants have big trunks, do small elephants have suitcases?Rating
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