In every love story, a girl supports her brother,
But a brother never supports his sister.
Because sister knows what love is and brother knows what boys are.
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I was in a cab today and the cab driver said,
I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.
Then I said, Turn Left.
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Today was my first day entering a court.
The judge shouted 'Order, Order!!'
I was so excited,
So I shouted back fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.
I am now locked up in a dark room.
I am sure they will bring my order soon.
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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital.
I went to see him the next day.
He just kept whispering 'yang qi guan' over and over and then died.
I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial.
Apparently, it means You're standing on my oxygen tube.
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My Girlfriend broke up with me.
She thinks that I am childish.
So I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.
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A guy in a plane stood up & shouted: 'HIJACK!'
All passengers got scared
From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back 'HI JOHN'.
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Today I saw two blind people fighting,
then I shouted I'm supporting the one with the knife,
they both ran away.
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Those who are single, Let's sing this song together:
Single bells
Single bells
Single all the way
Oh what fun it is to watch
those couples fight all day. Yay
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Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane.
Before the takeoff, one announcement came
"This plane is made by your students"
Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside.
But the principal was sitting.
One guy came and asked, "are you not afraid"?
Then the principal replied
I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won't even start.
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What is love?
Love is our 7th sense that destroys all 6 sense
And makes the person nonsense.
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Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night.
Beautiful night is,
When you hug your teddy bear and sleep.
Horror night is,
When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.
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My girlfriend's birthday is in two days.
And she told me "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring".
So I bought her nothing!
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What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.
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Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
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A student asked his teacher how old she was. She promptly said, "39 and holding." Then the student asked, "Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?"
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Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
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A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a "Living Will"
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
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Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero
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Wife : "Naari" Ka Matlab Kya Hai?
Husband : Naari Ka Matlab Hai Shakti.
Wife : To Phir Purush Ka Matlab Kya Hai?
Husband : 'Sahan Shakti'
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While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents dat, "Mai aapki beti ko shaadi ke baad bohot khush rakhunga"
Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents....??????
No..... because women don't lie
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