Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.
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A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
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If big elephants have big trunks, do small elephants have suitcases?
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A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.
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A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
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My mum said, “I’m not happy with your school report.â€
I said, “Okay.â€
She said, “I want more A'sâ€.
I replied, “OKAAAAAAAAAY.â€
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Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
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Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need
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Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me
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Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: You have a hole in one.
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Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is.
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कल à¤à¤• साधू बाबा मिले,
मैंने पूछा – कैसे हैं बाबाजी.?
बाबाजी बोले – हम तो साधू हैं बेटा….
हमारा “राम†हमें जैसे रखता है हम वैसे ही रहते हैं…..
तà¥à¤® तो सà¥à¤–ी हो ना बचà¥à¤šà¤¾..?
मैं बोला — हम तो संसारी लोग हैं बाबाजी
हमारी “सीता†हमें जैसे रखती है, हम वैसे ही रहते हैं..।
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The guy who stole my diary just died.
My thoughts are with his family.
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David: I love her so much
Richard: She’s just 14 and you are 28
David: Age is just a number
Richard: And jail is just a room
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A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigatorâ€
The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job?
Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.
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Today was my first day entering a court.
The judge shouted “Order, Order!!â€
I was so excited,
So I shouted back “fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.â€
I am now locked up in a dark room.
I am sure they will bring my order soon.
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My girlfriend’s birthday is in two days.
And she told me “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ringâ€.
So I bought her nothing!
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There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?†The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!â€
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Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
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Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.
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