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Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.Rating
Kid:Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.RatingQ: Why do economists exist?
A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.Rating
Two Friends were driving down the road.
The person who is driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the friend looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."Rating
Giving Over respect to the Elders: I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus.
That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.RatingWhen my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.Rating
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.Rating
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.RatingGod made each and everyone of us until he got to China.
Copy paste...copy paste...RatingQ: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.Rating
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."RatingA computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.RatingDatabase Admins walked into a NoSQL bar. A little later, they walked out because they couldn’t find a table.RatingMy internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google office and ask them in person.RatingWomen do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'RatingWhen a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.RatingThe mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes", the boy's mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.
"Who cares?" the mother replied.RatingMy mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.RatingA teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."RatingWhat happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.Rating
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