Is this your dog?
A man was sitting near a dog. Another man appeared there and asked the first man Does your dog bites?
Man: No
The second man sits and the dog bites him!
Second man angrily: You said it does not bites!
Man: This is not my dog.
Rating 
They think me 'GOD'
Weirdo 1: People consider me as a GOD .
Weirdo 2: How do you know??
Weirdo 1: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again .
Rating 
Medical Joke
Sunny: Why are you heating the knife.
Bunny: To do suicide.
Sunny: But why are you heating it?
Bunny: To prevent infection.
Rating 
Tables
Teacher: Krish, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Krish: You told me to do it without using tables.
Rating 
Maths Lesson
The math teacher saw that Sri wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on her and said, 'Sri! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Sri quickly replied, 'ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!'
Rating
Color TV
A person went to a TV shop and asked, "Do you have color TV?"
"Yes" replied the shop-owner.
The person said, "Give me green one."
Rating
Animal
Denis, a Psychiatrist, to his patient Menace: What's your problem?
Menace: I think I'm a chicken.
Denis the Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Menace: Since I was an egg!
Rating 
Doctor
Santa went to doctor: "Doctor, I feel so sick that I want to die!"
Doctor: "Don't worry Santa! Just leave that job to me, I am trained for that."
Rating
Honest Husband
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'
She replied, 'A can of peaches.'
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, 'I will then give you 6 days in jail.'
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, 'What is it?'
The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.'
Rating
Gender Differences
An English teacher wrote the words, 'Woman without her man is nothing' on the blackboard and asked the students to punctuate so that it made sense.
The boys wrote: 'Woman, without her man, is nothing.'
The girls wrote: 'Woman! Without her, man is nothing.'
Rating
Classic Proposal
Charlie, aged 86, was very contented living in the Clarendon Nursing Home. After meeting Maisie, 77, he grew even happier and fell deeply in love. Only last week Charlie plucked up the courage, got down on his knees and told her there were two things he would like to ask her.
Maisie smiled and replied, 'Alright.'
Charlie asked softly, 'Will you marry me?' .
Delighted, Maisie answered him, 'Yes.' She then asked Charlie what his second question was.
He replied, 'Maisie, will you help me get up, please?'
Rating
Meet me for lunch
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 25 degrees, 6 minutes north latitude and 47 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, I guess you'd be eating alone.
Rating 
Forgot to write the letter
Mr. Henry Beecher has joined the Plymouth church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the fool's a single word. Quietly and with the seriousness becoming announced to the congregation the fact in these words:
The I knew much a case of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only case I've known never a man who signs his name and forget to write the letter.
Rating
Mad Cow?
One farmer says to another farmer that he had to shoot one of his cows? "Was it mad?" asks the other farmer.
The farmer replies "Well it wasn't very happy about it".
Rating
A father&Son
A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.
Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up..."
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.
Rating
Teacher&Student
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"
Rating
Funny Support Calls
Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of your software and data?'
Customer: 'I didn't know it had a reverse.'
Advisor: 'Press any key to continue.
Customer: I can't find the 'Any' key.
Rating
Doctor&Patient
Patient:-Doctor I am Feeling Several Itching,Give Me a Medicine Please.
Doctor:-Take This Slip To The Medical Shop.
Patient:-If I Use This Medicine,I Can Solve This Itching.
Doctor:-I Gave This For Growing Your Nails For Scratching.
Rating
Teacher&Student
Teacher:Who was Raja Ram Mohan Roy ?
Student:They all four were great friends
Teacher:"What is your name?".Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
Rating
A mental hospital
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."
Rating
