A Man and a Woman were traveling in a train.
Woman: Every time you Smile. I feel like inviting you to my place.
Man: Aww....'Are you single?
Woman: No, I am a dentist.
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How did the Barber win the Race?
He knew a shortCut
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What Are The Most Power Full Three Words... Other Than "I Love You"? . . . . . . "Salary Is Credited"
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Teacher: Can you tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"
Student: Smoking and Drinking"!!!
Teacher Resigned !
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Dress Code For A Party Is "Black Ties Only". Pappu Goes For The Party & Is Surprised To See That The Other Guests Are Wearing Suits Also.
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Question: "When Do You Congratulate Someone For Their Mistake." Answer: "On Their Marriage."
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A Scientist And A Philosopher Were Being Chased By A Hungry Lion. The Scientist Made Some Quick Calculations He Said: It’s No Good Trying To Outrun It, Its Catching Up. The Philosopher Kept A Little Ahead And Replied. Philosopher: I Am Not Trying To Outrun The Lion, I Am Trying To Outrun You!
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At PVR- One Chicken Burger Please… Sir, Do You Want Me To Vomit?… What? Shall I Vomit Sir?(30 Seconds Of Looooong Pause….) Oh Ya Ya Please…… Please Warm It…
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Santa Was Awarded 2010 Nobel Prize For His New Theory Of Motion Which States Loose Motion Can Never Be Done In Slow Motion.
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Men Are Like Bluetooth… Always Connected When Wife Is Around… The Moment Wife Is Away… They Automatically Starts Searching For New Devices…
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Girl To Mom: Mom I Have Started Loving A Boy Mom: What? How Old Is He? What Does He Do? Girl: He Is 3 Months Old, Happily Kicking In My Stomach.
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Two Guys Coming Out Of The Examination Hall With Chips And Coke In Hand. 1st Guy: Which Paper Was It? 2nd Guy: I Think, Math 1st Guy: Surprisingly, You Read The Question Paper? 2nd Guy: No, I Saw The Girl Sitting Besides Me Using Calculator
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Q:"What Is The Most Dangerous Alphabet?" A:"W" Because All Worries Start With "W" Who? Why? What? When? Which? Where? War
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A Boy Was Going With His Girlfriend.
A Friend Asked: Who Is She?
Boy: My Cousin
The Friend Smiled & Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.
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Boss Calls His Employee In His Office.
Boss: Do You Believe In Life After Death?
Employee: Certainly Not, There Is No Proof Of It.
Boss: Well, There Is Now, After You Leave Early To Go To Your Uncle’s Funeral Yesterday, He Came Here Looking For You.
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Paper And Money Were Talking To Each Other. Paper To Money: "You Are Just A Piece Of Paper." Money Smiled: "Of Course I Am Just A Piece Of Paper But I Havn’t Seen A Dustbin In My Life."
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A Journalist Went To A Mental Hospital And Asked A Doctor,
Journalist: "How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?"
Doctor: "Well, We First Fill A Bathtub And Give A Teaspoon, A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient And Ask Them To Empty The Bathtub."
Journalist: "Yeah, Obviously A Normal Person Would Use The Bucket Because Its Bigger."
Doctor: "No, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug, Now Will You Please Proceed To Bed No.39."
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A Man’s Feeling.
It Feels Like A Mini Heart Attack,
When I Don’t Find My Mobile In My Pocket.
& It’s Almost Like Heart Fail,
When I See It In My Girlfriend’s Hand.
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Five Facts About You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You,
1. You’re So Lazy You Didn’t Read All The You’s.
2. You Didn’t Notice I Put A Yoo In You’s.
3. You Are Now Looking To Find Out.
4. You Are Laughing Because You Realise There Is No “Yoo†And You’ve Been Tricked.
5. You Are Going To Share This with your friends.
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The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "It's easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers. He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, "That's a very innovative approach" and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied "IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?"
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