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Wife:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes

Wife:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Wife:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary!)

Wife:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Wife:
So a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?

Man:
Correct

Wife:
If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?

Man:
Correct

Wife:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?

Wife:
No.

Man:
Where's your Ferrari ??
 
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Did u know the Meaning of this words :-

🔲News = North East West. South.

Chess = Chariot,Horse, Elephant, Soldiers.

Joke = Joy of Kids Entertainment.

🔲Aim = Ambition in Mind.
Date = Day and Time Evolution.

Eat = Energy And Taste.

🔲Tea = Taste And Energy Admitted.

Pen = Power Enriched in Nib.

🔲Smile = Sweet Memories In Lips Expression.

Bye = Be with You Everytime.

Kindly share these meanings as majority of us don't know these...
 
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Safety Tip 4 Winters !!
......................................

Stand in front of mirror
with one glass of water..
&
throw
water on d mirror
&
say..

" Ahaa.. Nahaa liye..!! "X_X =D:p
 
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Wife runs home saying:
"Pack your bags honey, I have won a 5 crore lottery"

Excited Hubby:"Do I pack for the beach or the hills?

Wife:"Who cares!
Just pack & get lost"
 
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Smart Wife to Husband...

Will you take me out for dinner in the evening?.....

Your options are...

A~YES...

B~A

C~B
 
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If a man listens to u in less than 5 minutes then he is ur dad.

If a man listens to u in 15 minutes then he is ur brother.

If a man listens to u in 30 minutes then he is ur son.

If a man listens to u in 1 hour then he is ur boy friend.

And ultimately

If a man pretends to listens to u all the time but does not remember a word of what u said no matter how important, then he is....???????

Yes , Yes....

You are correct!!!!!!

HE IS DEAF

And you thought he is Husband....

Not every time its HUSBAND
 
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*WOMEN NEVER LIE*

While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents that,
" I will keep your daughter very happy for life time "
Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents....??????
No..... because women don't lie
 
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A man was being interviewed for a post of a commando in Army..

Interviewer : We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack,
acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer instinct..!!
do you think you are eligible..??

Man : Sir.... Can my wife apply..
 
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Baccha ~ Papa Mard Kisse Kehte Hai ?

Papa ~ Uss Powerful Insaan Ko Jo Ghar Par Hukoomat Karta Hai ..

Baccha ~ Me Bhee Badaa Hokkar Mummy Ki Tarrah Mard Banunga ..
 
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When a Woman Says "WHAT" its not because she don't hear you, she's giving chance to change what you said.
 
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A couple were travelling on a flight
Air hostess approaches the man & asks : Sir, would u like an upgrade

He replied : Oh yes please
Turned to his wife & said :
"उठ जा, बैठने दे उसको"
 
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Lady 1 asked to other lady who is your favorite actor...?

She answered : my husband

As Whenever I ask him for diamonds, candle light dinners, vacations..

He starts acting..
 
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What is Checkmate ?

You tell your Wife,
"I saw a lady,
looked exactly like you"

Wife asks,
"WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL..??"

You can't say 'NO'
You can't say 'YES'

That is Checkmate.!
 
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Wife - I'm already 58, yet, one of your friend still praises and finds me attractive...

😏 Husband - Surely must be that Usman bhai!!!

😳 Wife - Exactly... But how did you judge so correctly???

😏 Husband - He is the only friend who is a scrap dealer...
 
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A genie appeared in the dream of a woman.
"Whatever you want, just ask " it said.

"My husband's eyes should be only on me during all waking hours."

"And then ..?"

"He should not be concerned with anything else in life except me."

"And then?"

"He should never sleep without me by his side."

"And then ..?"

"When he wakes up in the morning he should only see my face first."

"And then ..?"

"He should not go anywhere without me."

"And then ..?"

"If there is even a single scratch on me, he should go crazy with grief."

"And then ..?"

"That's it."

And, bingo, the genie turned the woman into a IPhone 6s Plus!
 
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Every time Before removing make up...
.
.
Inner soul of every woman asks herself twice...
.
.
"Are you sure you want to restore factory Settings.?"
 
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Made for each other

Relationship is easy when spouses know each other. There are two examples:

1) A husband comes home after attending a club meeting. He tells his wife, Dear there was a drinking competition after the meeting today.His wife spontaneously asks, Who's got the second position?

2) A wife tells her husband, Dear there was a letter to you. It's written on the envelope, Private and confidential.

The husband casually asks, What was written inside?"

Great understanding of each other
 
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An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wifes.(Wives)

A- Monopoly should be broken.

B- Competition improves the quality of service.

If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!

If u have 2 wifes, They will fight for u!
Feel the difference & decide

Disclaimer:
Sender is not having any such experience and not responsible for any side effects..
 
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Never approach..

- A bull from front

- A donkey from behind &

- An angry wife from any direction.!!
 
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A man whatapps his wife., and asked,
"Honey, if you see me on the street holding another woman, what will you do?"

The wife smiled and answered,
"I will close one eye and open one eye."

The husband said, "wow honey, I never knew you are so sporting ".

Later his wife send this picture to him.
 
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