A mother makes her son "Gentle" in 20 Years. But a girls make him "Mental" in 20 Minutes.
Today I saw myself in the TV When i switched off.
Husband: Have you heard of King Akbar?
Wife: Yes, what about him?
Husband: He had three wives.
Husband: That means I can marry two more times?
Wife: Have you heard of Draupadi !!!???
Husband: I was just kidding dear!!!! You take things too seriously!!!!
Wife : Chalo na aaj Sunday hai. Bahar chalte hai Aur drive mai karungi
Husband Wow! Matlab, jayenge car me aur aaynge Kal k Akhbaar me.
Height of misunderstanding:
A man married his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before !!
Doc to lady: Any history of insanity in the family ? Lady: Yes... My husband thinks he is the Boss of the house!!!
Ravana was furious with all the people ganging up to burn him. He shouted at all of them "what harm did I do to any of you? I didn't kidnap your wife "
The angry crowd responded "that's what we are burning you for, you evil guy. "
Marry Me... and Make me the Happiest Man in the World
Looking bewildered she replied
You want Both !!!??
Husband and Wife jokes
While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents dat, "Mai aapki beti ko shaadi ke baad bohot khush rakhunga"
Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents....??????
No..... because women don't lie
A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.
“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.
“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
The party’s host paid me a great compliment. “You are a good-looking woman,” he said. “Honest—I’ve had only one beer.”
My glow was only slightly dimmed when my husband interjected, “Imagine how great she’ll look after two.”
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.
Teacher: Why did sita go to the jungle with Ram?
Boy: If you have 3 mother in laws in the house, then jungle is a better place to be in.....
Why did Parvathi Choose shiva as her Husband?
5 reasons said by student.
1. Shiva does not wear clothes since he is digambar. So no issue of washing cloths.
2.He has moon on his head so no problem of light and no issues of electicity bill payments.
3.Ganga flows from him so no shortage of water
4.Shiva eats only raw veggies so no cooking required.
5.Since he does not have parents no issues with inlaws.
Teacher: Where did the word WIFE come from?
Student: Ma'am they derived it by taking the first 2 & last two alphabets from WILDLIFE.
Sir, I have not linked my account to Aadhar. But still got gas subsidy.
Boss : Idiot that's not the gas subsidy. That's your increment this year.
Teacher : What is the difference between Orange and Apple?
Student: Color of Orange is Orange but color of Apple is not Apple.
Customer : My Mobile Bill How much?
Call Center Executive: Sir, Please dial 123 to Know your CURRENT BILL statu.
Customer: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
What do you call a skeleton that is always sleeping?
A lazy bone!
Why don’t we see a bat alone?
Because bats always like to hang out with their friends!