In Capitalism Man Exploits Man
Two Americans are talking. One asks: "What's the difference between capitalism and communism?"
"That's easy" says the other one. "In capitalism man exploits man! In communism it is the other way around!"
Three Men Caught A Mermaid
One day 3 men caught a mermaid. The mermaid said I will give you one wish each if you let me go.
The first man said I want to be 40 % smarter. So she made him 40% smarter.
The second man said I want to be 60 % smarter. So she made him 60% smarter.
The third man said I want to be 100 % smarter. She said to him, "Are you
sure your want to be 100 % because you might feel a little bit different."
He replied, "I don't care."
So she turned him into a woman!
A Husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room:
"Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel"...
The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter..."
Husband: " the window won't open! That's a maintenance matter !
I love your smile because...
My favorite color is "YELLOW"
Son In Law Buy Gift For Mother In Law
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!
Eyesight Is Still Excellent
Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband,
I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty..
But can you still give me a good compliment ??
Yes.. Your eyesight is still excellent.
SLAM BOOK filled by Balu.
1.Strength: My wife, Dhanno.
2.Weakness: Pintoo's wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Pintoo is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
Reality of Indians!
-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges.
-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB's tomanage the First Class students.
-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.
-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses.
-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them.
All Woman are Mother
Teacher : if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??
page 50 to 55
Teacher: From where to where foreigner ruled us?
Student: I am not sure but I think from page 50 to 55...
Same Blood Group
Doctor - You and your wife having same blood group.
Patient - Yeah off course since 25 years she is sucks my blood.
It's imagination.''First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that''s vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.'
Give him an opportunity to speak
A lady to doctor: My husband has the habit of talking in sleep! What should i give him to cure?
Doctor: Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake.
Me or your Wife?
The Smart Husband
Once Mom asked:
Whom do you Love more?
Me or your Wife?
Husband replied: I don't know..
but your Love makes me forget my Wife
Her Love & care reminds me of You!
Do Exercise Daily For Good Health
Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Patient: Sir, i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: How long do you play?
Patient: Until the battery in my mobile goes down !!!
so you have no brain
Teacher: Can you see God?
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Teacher: Then there is no God!
(Few minutes later)
Student: Sir, can you see your brain?
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Student: Oho ok, so you have no brain!
Wikipedia:" I know everything..
Google:" I have everything..
Facebook:" I know everybody..
Internet:" without me u r nobody
Electricity:" Awaaz Niche.
Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster,
what will happen?"
Candidate:"We will get our salary everyday" :D
In a Grammar class :
Teacher:- "HE does not like girls"
What is 'He' in this sentence. .
Student :- Gay. . .
LADY : Doctor please call in my husband.
DOCTOR : Trust me, I am a gentleman.
LADY : No doc, your nurse is sitting outside alone and my husband is not a gentleman. :P