A little kid
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I would be a little bull."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver.
You are late
Boy1:You are late!.
Boy2:I had to toss a coin to decide going to church and coming to the game.
Boy2:I had to toss 15 times for the game.
A Gorgeous Girl Walks up 2 Professor?s Cabin & Says: I’ll Do Anything 2 Pass D Exam.
Again Prof asked anything?
Prof: Then Go & Study…! …
yourself in a boat
which is sinking
sharks all around you
what can you do 2 save yourself?
A girl can break any relationship
The best relation ever is between TWO EYES…
They blink together
see together and
Still they never see each others
But when they saw a girl
1 will blink and another will not
Moral of the story :
A girl can break any kind of relationship.
Doctor: U look exactly like my third wife..!
Lady: How many wivez do u have???
Moral: Express smart ideas
What Women want?
The w0rld?s thinnest b00k is titled by,
What W0men Want?
It has 0nly 0ne w0rd written in it,
2 FrIeNds oN tHeIr wAy
2 FrIeNds oN tHeIr wAy To A fASt Food FoR diNnEr
1st oRdErS:Double ChEeSe wItH eXtRa cHeEsE aNd eXtRa mAy0s
1St:DiEt cOkE I aM oN diEt!
Mobile with free SMS
How Can A Father
Make His Daughter
Walk On The Street
Looking Down The Earth??
Just Gift Her A Mobile With Free Sms
inside or outside
Mr.inside went 2 c Mr.outside. Inside standing outside called Outside outside but Outside standing inside called Inside inside when Inside came inside Outside went outside 2 c Inside then Outside called Inside outside but Inside from inside called Outside inside . . Now where is your Brain . inside or outside?
I Think Uve Had
Bartender: I Think U’ve Had Enuf Sir !
Drunk: I Just Lost My Wife, Buddy !
Bartender: Well, It Must Be Hard Losing A Wife
Drunk: It Was Almost Impossible
A man traveling at 130
A man traveling at 130 mph on th highway ws stopped by highway police.
Man:”Sorry,officer was I driving too fast?”
Officer:”No,sir.U were flying too slow.”
“Waiter, Waiter !
There’s A Dead Fly In My Soup…”
Who’s Going To Look After His Family…”
one fine morning in the middle
One fine morning in the middle of the night,
two dead boys woke up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Took out their swords & shot each other,
One deaf policeman heard the noise &
Killed the 2 dead boys
Beleive this lie, it’s really true,
Ask the blind beggar, he saw it too.
StuDenTs Vs TeAcHeRz
WheN We R iN CLass, We R ‘StuDenTs’,
WheN They R iN CLass, They R ‘ScHoLaRs’
WheN We CoRecT Our WriTinG, iTs ‘OveRwriTTinG’, WheN They CoRecT TheiR, iTs ‘CoRRecTioN’
WheN We CoPy FroM OtheRz, We R ‘CheaTeRs’, WheN They CoPy, They R ‘QuoTes’
WheN We JoKe iN CLass, We R ‘JoKeRs’, WheN They JoKe, They R ‘WiTTy’
WheN We Don’T Do Our WorK On TiMe, We R ‘SLuGGisH,’
WheN They Don’T Do, They R ‘BuSy’
An Apple On NEWTON
The Most Unfulfilled Desire Of All Science Students Is…
A Bomb Should Have Fallen
An Apple On NEWTON .
I do not want to marry
Man 1:- I do not want to marry becoz I am afraid of ALL women..
Man 2:- Get married soon, then u will be afraid of only ONE woman &
start loving other women.
A new vaccum salesman
A new vaccum salesman knockd on da door. A tall lady answerd it.
B4 she cud speak, d salesman barged into da living room n emptied a bag of cow shit on2 da carpet..
Salesman: “Madam, if i cudnt clean this up with my new powerful vaccum cleaner, i’ll EAT all this Shit !”
Lady:”Do u need chilli sauce or ketchup wid dat?”
Salesman: “Y madam?”
Lady:”Cuz therez no electricty in da house.”
MORAL: Gather ALL resources b4 working on any project
If we get married
Girl:If v gt married stop smokng.
Girl:N goin to d nite club 2.
Girl:-Wht else cn u leav??
Boy:-D idea of marryng u!!
Old concept: “Do or die ”
New concept: “Do before u die ”
Latest concept: “Dont die until u do ”
“WHAT TO DO!?!?!”