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Peanuts

An oLd Lady gave the busS Drivr peanuts 2 eat.
Ths happnd 4 several Times.
The drivr said ‘ Y have u givn me such wondrful peanuts to eat?
Why don’t u eat thm urself?’
The Lady replied ‘i dont have teth to munch thm’

Drivr:
Then why u bought them?
Old Lady: I just Love the chocolate Around thm. Hahaha
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

First Prize

Girl-Nice Mobile.

Where Did U Buy?

Boy-I Won Dis In A Running Race.

Girl-How Many People Participated?

Boy- MOBILE OWNER, POLICE And ME.

 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Dear Human:

You Get Angry At Me;
If I Wake U Up..

You Also Get Angry;
If I Don’t..!!

What The Hell Is This ???

-Sincerely;
Confused Alarm Clock..
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

SMS
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cellphones. The wife was a romantic type, and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message, so she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband texted back to her: "I'm using the bathroom. Please advise."
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Which Is The Best Month To Get Married

1st Man: Which Is The Best Month
To Get Married..?

2nd Man: Octemb ruary..

1st Man: Don’t Be Silly,
There Is No Such Month

2nd Man: Exactly.
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

A one line advertisement by a Married Man in a newspaper:
For Sale: Wedding suit,
worn only once by mistake.
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Patients Died in Same Bed Every Sunday at 11 AM.

It was Happening In a Hospital that ICU Patients Died in Same Bed Every Sunday at 11 AM.

Dr. Thought it is Something Super Natural…

Worldwide Xpert Team was formed to investigate the Cause… Next Sunday,few mint b4 11 AM,all Dr. & nurses stand around that Bed & start waiting 2 c what it was? Then suddenly a (Part time Sunday Sweeper) entered the ICU, unpluged the Life support system of that Bed & pluged in his Mobile Charger…
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

How to convert a university student into a criminal??
.
.
.
burn some pages of their assignments,

an hour before submission..
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Facebook friend Request
Son 2 his
Mom:
Mom you know na I Love You Alo0ot
!!
but
...
sorry Mama i can’t accept your friend request on facebook!!
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Only 1% of the girls become wife of their lovers, the remaining become passwords of FACEBOOK and EMAIL !
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Customer and waiter

Customer to waiter : Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today…. . . . . Waiter : . . . . Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

DEFINITION OF LAZINESS :

Its a talent of taking rest before u get tired..
.
Bcoz

.
.
.
.
Prevention Is Better Than Cure.. :)
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

I want to be a Millionaire

Boy:
“I want to be a millionaire.
Just like my dad…!”

Girl:
“Wow, your dad’s a
millionaire…?”

Boy:
“No, but he always wanted
to be….”
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Education spoils our commonsense?
Universal TRUTH we learnt
“sun rises in the east”
Fact:-
“sun neither rises nor sets, only earth rotates”
Moral
“Education spoils our commonsense”
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Teacher fell asleep in class

Teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him,

Little boy:
“Teacher are you sleeping in class?”

Teacher:
“No I am not sleeping in class.”

Little boy:
“What were you doing sir ?”

Teacher:
“I was talking to God.”

The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him…

Teacher:
“young man, you are sleeping in my class.”

Little boy:
“No not me sir, I am not sleeping.”

Angry teacher:
“What were you doing.??”

Little boy:
“I was talking to God.”

Angry teacher:
“What did He say??”

Little boy:
“God said He never spoke to you yesterday…”

 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

why hairs are white

KID :- Why some of ur hair are
white dad ?

DAD : – Every time a son make his dad
unhappy ,
one of his father’s hair turns white …..

… … KID :- Now understand why
grandpa’s hairs are all white…

 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Invalid Argument

MOM ALWAYS SAID…

“Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees”

Mom!!!! money is made from
paper & paper comes from trees.

Therefore your argument is
invalid

 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Class Room is Like a Train
.
.
.
1st Two Benches r Reserved For VIP . .

Nxt Two Benches r General coach
.
.
Then
.
Last Two Benches r Vry Demanded.
.
.
.
Bcz Its.”SLEEPER COACH” :P :D

 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Boys Always Remain FaitfullLatest Research:
.
.
Boys Always Remain Faitfull To Their Girlfriend..!!

But,

Which Girlfriend??
.
.
.
.
That’s Still a Topic Of Research..!!

 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

Resting tigers
Two Tigers were resting under a tree..
Suddenly a RABBIT passed very fast
Tiger could not make out & asked
“What was that?”

2nd Tiger smiled and said:
.
.
.
.
Fast Food.
 
Rating
1 2 3 4 5

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