Q: What happens when "you" and "I" are gone?
A: Only 24 letters are left. (you=the letter "u" and I the letter "i".)
Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?
Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.
These need to be written.
Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig.
Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
A: A blackboard.
Q: Where do you find giant snails?
A: On the ends of their fingers.
Always put 'am' after an "I".
eacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
A man is talking to God
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
I'm a stranger
A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
World's Smallest Resignation Letter
I Love your Wife.
According to a research
87% of young people have
The other 13% have no
Your Ex-GirlFriend Asking If u Can Still Be Friends After A Break-Up..
It is Like..
A Kidnapper Telling U To Keep In Touch.!!
At a Bust Stand,
An American DoctOr gOt Heart Attack after Reading a BoOk's Name..!!
Guess The Name Of that BoOk..??
"How tO Become A
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Teacher: "Johnny, Im Glad To See Your Writing Has Improved."
Johnny: "Thank You"
Teacher: "Now, Finally,
I Can See How Bad Your Spellings Are!!!"
I was in court the other day and the Judge said to me "Have you ever been up before me?"
I replied, "I'm not sure, what time do you normally wake up?"
Overheard a man and his wife were having an intense fight when the wife told him to get out. The husband packed his things and as he was leaving, the wife said "I hope you have a slow agonising death." The husband replied "oh, so now you want me to stay?"
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I’d be in your hands all day. Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one everyday.
Husband: Honey..... What are You Looking for?
Wife : Nothing.
Husband : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Wife : I was just looking for the expire date.