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Dear Google!
Please Stop behaving like my wife

Kindly let me complete my sentence before you give a Suggestion.
 
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From Signboard On Electric Boxes-
"Danger,10000 Volts,TOUCHING This Will Lead To DEATH..
Anyone Found Touching Will Be Jailed For 3 Years ..!
 
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Height Of Optimism...
A Man Marrying His Own Secretary
Thinking That..
She Will Still Follow His Orders As Before ..!! :)
 
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Best breakup :

Girl:I hate u get lost, I Don't wanna talk to you, This relationship is over-

Boy:what happnd??
I didn't look up with any girl, I love only you..!

Girl:Shut up, i don't wanna be with you, you didn't 'Like' my status on facebook ..!
 
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Boys Have Fun By Teasing Girls,
Then Girls Cry For Few Minutes
Girls Have Fun By Loving Boys
Then Boys Cry For Life Time!

Funny But It IS Fact..!
 
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Studies have shown that majority
of college student suffer from intense
pain of lower jaw.
This is due to uncontrolled excessive
yawning during lecture.
 
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary,
What should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
 
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Desktop Engineer
Desktop Engineer and angry wife were Fighting..
.
.
.
.
Fuming Wife: Wats my value in the family
Techie Husband: An Unknown Virus..!!

 
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When you sit in front

Do u know what does the computer
think of you when u sit in front
of it
.
.
.
INTEL Inside.
IDIOT Outside
 
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Wife What Is $1000 For Me

Wife:What is 10 years with me..
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me..
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second
 
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Mother Tongue
Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to
speak..!
 
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What Is An Idiot?
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
 
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Everything mommy asked?

One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mommy asked?"

In one voice they all replied, "You, Daddy"
 
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No Service Charge
The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary in Office. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
 
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Funny Women
Post Master in a post office told to a woman,"You have to put
another stamp on this letter as it is too heavy.
The woman replied, How would an extra stamp make it lighter."
 
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Left and Right
Ur brain is special.
It has 2 parts LEFT and RIGHT.
In right, nothing LEFT.
In left, nothing RIGHT.
 
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Newton's Law
Teacher: Chintu, can you tell me NEWTON law
Chintu: Sure sir but i have remembered only the last lines Sir.
Teacher: Not a problem tell me those.
Chintu: and This is called Newton's law !!!
 
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What is the Day of Judgment?

When Valentine's Day and Raksha Bandhan fall on the same day.
 
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"Teacher : Tell me four members of cat family.
Student : Mother ,father,sister and brother. "
 
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Idiot In Suspense
Ajay: Do you know how to keep an idiot in suspense?
Sunny: No, tell me how?
Ajay: I will tell you next week.
 
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