College Student Want To Be Political
A college student said to his mother, I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!
That is very nice, muted his mother. You can go upstairs and start with your room.
Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Student: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...
Girlfriend texted me, "I have tried my best to make this relationship work but I seem to be the only one trying. So I have decided to break up with you and move on with my life. Can you delete my number and never contact me."?
Boy replied, "Who's this?
women live a better
Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.
where the hell does Tigger come from?
Little boy asks his dad where does "Poo" come from? Dad explains food passes through the esophagus to the stomach where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentry canal to extract protein before waste product descends via the colon and rectum to emerge as "POO". Blimey says the little boy, so where the hell does Tigger come from?
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Hurry Up Or We Will Be Late
Charles was getting annoyed and shouted upstairs to his wife," Hurry up or we'll be late."
"Oh, be quiet," replied his wife. "Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute
In Capitalism Man Exploits Man
Two Americans are talking. One asks: "What's the difference between capitalism and communism?"
"That's easy" says the other one. "In capitalism man exploits man! In communism it is the other way around!"
Three Men Caught A Mermaid
One day 3 men caught a mermaid. The mermaid said I will give you one wish each if you let me go.
The first man said I want to be 40 % smarter. So she made him 40% smarter.
The second man said I want to be 60 % smarter. So she made him 60% smarter.
The third man said I want to be 100 % smarter. She said to him, "Are you
sure your want to be 100 % because you might feel a little bit different."
He replied, "I don't care."
So she turned him into a woman!
A Husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room:
"Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel"...
The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter..."
Husband: " the window won't open! That's a maintenance matter !
I love your smile because...
My favorite color is "YELLOW"
Son In Law Buy Gift For Mother In Law
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!
Eyesight Is Still Excellent
Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband,
I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty..
But can you still give me a good compliment ??
Yes.. Your eyesight is still excellent.
SLAM BOOK filled by Balu.
1.Strength: My wife, Dhanno.
2.Weakness: Pintoo's wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Pintoo is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
Reality of Indians!
-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges.
-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB's tomanage the First Class students.
-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.
-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses.
-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them.
All Woman are Mother
Teacher : if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??
page 50 to 55
Teacher: From where to where foreigner ruled us?
Student: I am not sure but I think from page 50 to 55...
Same Blood Group
Doctor - You and your wife having same blood group.
Patient - Yeah off course since 25 years she is sucks my blood.
It's imagination.''First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that''s vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.'
Give him an opportunity to speak
A lady to doctor: My husband has the habit of talking in sleep! What should i give him to cure?
Doctor: Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake.