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In Capitalism Man Exploits Man
Two Americans are talking. One asks: "What's the difference between capitalism and communism?"
"That's easy" says the other one. "In capitalism man exploits man! In communism it is the other way around!"
 
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Three Men Caught A Mermaid
One day 3 men caught a mermaid. The mermaid said I will give you one wish each if you let me go.

The first man said I want to be 40 % smarter. So she made him 40% smarter.

The second man said I want to be 60 % smarter. So she made him 60% smarter.

The third man said I want to be 100 % smarter. She said to him, "Are you
sure your want to be 100 % because you might feel a little bit different."
He replied, "I don't care."

So she turned him into a woman!
 
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Maintenance Problem
A Husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room:
"Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel"...
The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter..."
Husband: " the window won't open! That's a maintenance matter !
 
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Ultimate insult...

I love your smile because...
.
.
.
.
.

My favorite color is "YELLOW"
 
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Son In Law Buy Gift For Mother In Law
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, "well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!
 
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Eyesight Is Still Excellent
Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband,

I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty..

But can you still give me a good compliment ??

Husband replied,

Yes.. Your eyesight is still excellent.

 
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SLAM BOOK filled by Balu.

.
.
1.Strength: My wife, Dhanno.
2.Weakness: Pintoo's wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Pintoo is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
 
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Reality of Indians!
-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges.
-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB's tomanage the First Class students.
-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.
-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses.
-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them.
 
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All Woman are Mother
Teacher : if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??
 
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page 50 to 55
Teacher: From where to where foreigner ruled us?
Student: I am not sure but I think from page 50 to 55...
 
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Same Blood Group
Doctor - You and your wife having same blood group.

Patient - Yeah off course since 25 years she is sucks my blood.
 
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It's imagination.''First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that''s vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.'
 
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Give him an opportunity to speak
A lady to doctor: My husband has the habit of talking in sleep! What should i give him to cure?

Doctor: Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake.
 
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Me or your Wife?

The Smart Husband
Once Mom asked:
Whom do you Love more?
Me or your Wife?
Husband replied: I don't know..
but your Love makes me forget my Wife
&
Her Love & care reminds me of You!

 
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Do Exercise Daily For Good Health

Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Patient: Sir, i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: How long do you play?
Patient: Until the battery in my mobile goes down !!!
 
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so you have no brain
Teacher: Can you see God?
Class: No
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Class: No
Teacher: Then there is no God!
(Few minutes later)
Student: Sir, can you see your brain?
Teacher: No
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Teacher: No
Student: Oho ok, so you have no brain!
 
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Wikipedia:" I know everything..
.
Google:" I have everything..
.
Facebook:" I know everybody..
.
Internet:" without me u r nobody
.
Electricity:" Awaaz Niche.
 
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Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster,
what will happen?"

Candidate:"We will get our salary everyday" :D
Think Greedily
 
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In a Grammar class :
Teacher:- "HE does not like girls"

What is 'He' in this sentence. .
Student :- Gay. . .
 
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LADY : Doctor please call in my husband.

DOCTOR : Trust me, I am a gentleman.

LADY : No doc, your nurse is sitting outside alone and my husband is not a gentleman. :P
 
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HVM Infotech swami mukundananda


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