Wife:If I am lost somewhere, what will you do?
Husband: I'll give ad in newspaper: Be happy, where ever you are.
Anniversary In African Jungle
Wife: where'll you take me on our 10th anniversary?
Husband: We'll go to African jungle safari.
Wife: Nice. And on our 25th anniversary?
Husband: I'll bring you back.
I Love walking in the rain because nobody knows I'm crying
(uhh OLD Story)
I Love walking in the FOG because no one can SEE I'm SMOKING
Bad Habit Of Scrap Dealer
Wife: You say I look old but one of your friends still praises me?
Husband: Must be Peter?
Wife: Yes but how do you know?
Husband: He is a scrap dealer
A boss was telling an applicant the two main rules of the company
He said, "Our 2nd main rule is cleanliness.
Did you wipe your feet on the mat before coming in?"
The applicant replied, "Yes sir! I did."
Then the boss said,
"Our 1st main rule is trustworthiness.
Daddy Have You Ever Been To Egypt
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
Boy Teaching His Girl Friend
A boy friend who is good in English, is teaching his girl friend about tense.
Bf:- YOU LOVE ME. Which tense is it..
Gf:- PAST TENSE
Do You Believe In Life After Death
Boss to an Employee: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Certainly not! There's no proof of it, he replied.
Boss: Well, there is now.
After you left early yesterday to go to your uncles funeral, he came here looking for you.
Photograph Of Wife
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks.
After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another."
The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home.
'END OF THE WORLD'
2012 December Has Been Postponed To 3012
Some Technical Problems !!!
Please Co-operate & Continue With Life & Same WIFE/GIRLFRIEND ...
Till Further Notice
CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
Barney the dinosaur is a
CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
1. In Latin, they had no letter "U" so they used a "V" instead:
CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
2. Emitting all the letters that are not Roman numerals, we are left with:
CV VL DIV
3. Let's refresh your brain.
I=One, V=Five, L=Fifty, D=Five Hundred, C=One Hundred
100+5+5+50+500+5+1 = 666
Ladies and Gents, 666. Clear mathematical proof that Barney the dinosaur, is Satan.
A young man studying in a college abroad sent this SMS to hisather: Dear dad, no mon, no fun, your son.The father replied: Dear son, too bad, so sad, your dad.
College Student Want To Be Political
A college student said to his mother, I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!
That is very nice, muted his mother. You can go upstairs and start with your room.
Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Student: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...
Girlfriend texted me, "I have tried my best to make this relationship work but I seem to be the only one trying. So I have decided to break up with you and move on with my life. Can you delete my number and never contact me."?
Boy replied, "Who's this?
women live a better
Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.
where the hell does Tigger come from?
Little boy asks his dad where does "Poo" come from? Dad explains food passes through the esophagus to the stomach where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentry canal to extract protein before waste product descends via the colon and rectum to emerge as "POO". Blimey says the little boy, so where the hell does Tigger come from?
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Hurry Up Or We Will Be Late
Charles was getting annoyed and shouted upstairs to his wife," Hurry up or we'll be late."
"Oh, be quiet," replied his wife. "Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute
In Capitalism Man Exploits Man
Two Americans are talking. One asks: "What's the difference between capitalism and communism?"
"That's easy" says the other one. "In capitalism man exploits man! In communism it is the other way around!"