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Signs your marriage is in trouble (and how to fix it)

Do you feel less like lovers and more like roomies? Not a great sign. Your partner or spouse should be your friend, yes. But there should be a stronger bond between you, too. If you feel like you and your partner no longer share a life together, it's time to get back on the same page and reinstate your bond. This may be as complex as counseling or as simple as date night. By Kristin Wong

Feelings of resentment can quickly take over and unravel a relationship. If one (or both) of you constantly feels resentment toward the other, this resentment can grow to make you apathetic about the relationship in general. To fix this, identify the source of your pain and determine what needs to be done to let it go. It can be tough to work through these feelings. Try to focus on the bigger picture.

Some experts say emotional cheating is actually worse than physical or sexual cheating. If you or your partner is confiding in someone else, and possibly discussing a future with another person, this is dangerous territory. Working through an emotional affair might take the objectivity of a professional--someone who can help you understand why one of you is looking elsewhere for intimacy.

Communication is key to any successful relationship. So it's not surprising that, when communication has stopped, your marriage or partnership might be in danger. The reason for a lack of communication varies--maybe you're both incredibly busy. Or maybe there's a larger issue that needs to be addressed. Either way, set aside time to sit down with your partner. Make sure there will be no distractions, and then start talking. Get to the heart of the issue .Easier said than done, we know. But starting the discussion is a step in the right direction.

It's usually apparent when all physical and emotional intimacy has left a relationship. And this can be a big sign that your marriage is in trouble. But there are many ways to reignite the spark. Relationship expert Mark Tyrell suggests starting with small changes: "…take time to hug them when perhaps you normally wouldn't…maybe before they go to work and also when they come back."

When one spouse has given up, it can be disheartening and frustrating for the other. Unfortunately, if the other person has made up his or her mind and wants to leave, there's only so much that can be done--you can't change your partner. But it is possible to fix a marriage with a reluctant spouse. This might mean looking at the issue on your own and seeing if there's anything you can do to make it better. If your spouse has given up and doesn't seem receptive to you, suggest counseling to give the relationship another try.

A marriage is hard work even without infidelity. But serial cheating can make marriage a near-impossible challenge. If you or your spouse is guilty of this, it's time to take action. First, decide whether the marriage is worth working through the infidelity. If it is, come up with a plan together that involves complete transparency. It will likely be necessary to seek the help of a third-party professional, too.

A study found that incessant arguing is one of the top eight most common reasons for divorce. If you and your partner keep having the same argument over and over, it's time to resolve it. An open-mind is a must. Whether or not you agree with each other, try being more receptive to other person's perspective. A little validation can go a long way.

Sure, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But if you and your partner never see or think about each other, one of you will probably start wondering--what's the point? Hectic schedules and long-distance marriages can make spending time together difficult. But even if it's a twenty-minute conversation or a quick video chat, carve time out of your schedule for your spouse. Staying connected is key to making your marriage work.

Unresolved arguments don't always lead to constant fighting. Sometimes, the unsettled issue simply drives a wedge between you. While you definitely don't want to keep having the same argument over and over, the solution isn't sweeping the issue under the rug. Address the problem out in the open. Learn to communicate effectively and come to a compromise. Leaving it unresolved can eat away at your marriage over time.

Do you feel like you're constantly compromising while your spouse does whatever he or she wants? Unequal relationships can build up resentment and lead one spouse to eventually blow up. While we sometimes have to make small sacrifices and compromises in a relationship, these should be balanced. If the scales aren't lining up, it's time to open up a dialogue about it.

If you and your spouse both want nothing to do with each other, there could be a couple of reasons for this. Maybe you've both given up, or maybe there's an issue that seems insurmountable. Either way, at some point, you'll have to face the music.Figure out what it is exactly that you're both avoiding. Then, schedule time to talk about it. Ask yourselves: what will it take for you to embrace each other again?

We all have spats that leave us feeling less than peppy. But overall, your relationship should make you feel secure. If it feels more like a source of frustration and anger, it's time for some self-reflection. Think about your relationship's problem, but also think about your own emotions. These are two separate things and may need separate solutions. Figure out how to get a handle on your emotions first, and then work on the problem with your spouse. Levelheaded communication can pave the way for a compromise.

Maybe your marriage doesn't feel repairable. If you think problems and issues have snowballed out of your control, it might be time to take a break or talk to a counselor. If you still want to save your marriage, despite not knowing the solution, there's hope for it. But it will likely take some time to figure things out and bring your issues to a manageable state.

If you have so much anger toward your partner that you try to find ways to hurt his or her feelings, that's dangerous territory. Not only is it unhealthy for your relationship, it's emotionally abusive. Everyone gets mad, but if your spouse is your enemy, it's time for an overhaul. Some serious changes may be in order. Before relationship issues are addressed, it may be time to address your anger management.

Again, if you've become enemies, it's time to take a step back. Every relationship has issues. It's important to separate those issues from the love that keeps your relationship strong. Learning to be friends again will take a great deal of self-reflection. Learn how to communicate effectively, and figure out how to let go of the resentment.

Playing the blame game can quickly lead to marriage trouble. Marriage takes effort from both parties. If one of you refuses to take responsibility or is more interested in finding fault than a solution, this can put a huge amount of stress on your marriage. Understand that you're in this together. Forget about the blame--commit to a solution.

Maybe one of you has started thinking or behaving like a single person. That can be a sign you've given up, or it can be a cry for help. Either way, it needs to be addressed. If one spouse is trying to attract other people, looking for his or her own place, etc., it's important to recognize this behavior and why it's happening. You'll have to become a team again, and that will take communication and time together.

All marriages have good times and bad times. But if the bad seems to overshadow the good, it's time to nip that problem in the bud. Once you start focusing on the negative, you can become absorbed and unwilling to remedy it. Pinpoint the problems taking over your relationship. Instead of dwelling on these problems, use your energy to find ways to overcome them.

If you constantly compare your spouse to someone else, your marriage needs some serious work. If this is happening in your relationship, identify the source of the behavior. Why are you comparing? If you're the one being compared, you'll have to objectively find out what your spouse thinks he or she is missing. Solving the issue won't be easy, but once the source is identified, you can work toward a solution.

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