A circus owner was bragging about his troupes performances.
Circus owner: "Do you want to see our new circus show--the friendship of a lion and 5 goats."
Cutomer: "But how is that possible, doesn’t the lion eat the goats?
Circus owner: "Oh, it's not impossible. Our lion is very fond of goats. So we have to occasionally replace the goats!"
Secret of a happy marriage
A lady was asked about the secret of their successful marriage and how they came to be celebrating their 20th anniversary. She said, "It's very simple! On the day of marriage we decided that whenever I'm right, he would listen to me." "What happens when he is right?" The friend asked. "It never happened!" snapped the lady.
The three rings
There are three rings involved in a marriage and not all of them are made of gold and diamonds.
1. Engagement ring, when a man proposes marriage
2. Wedding ring, when a man pledges his life and
3. Suffering for the rest of his life after marriage
There was a discussion in a club as to the most beautiful part in a woman's body.
One man said, "woman's hair".
Another man said, "it's her eyes!"
A third man said, 'Oh! It's her lips only!"
A woman with uplifted nose said, stiffly: “I'm planning to leave from here quickly before one of you fellows tells the truth!”
Fact or Fiction!
A man walks into the library and asks: “I want the book The man who controlled wife”.
Without even lifting her head the librarian replies: “Fiction that side!"
Absence and Love!
Wife: Is it true that absence makes the love deep?
Husband: Yes darling, the longer your absence, the deeper is the love!
What is love?
Love is a temporary insanity, curable by marriage
In which month women talk less?
Man & Woman
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
what the hell
The lawyer asked, "Ms. Damodar, would you tell the court why you stole the plaintiffs car?"
"Sure," said Damodar. "it was parked at the cemetery, so I figured what the hell? The owner won't be needing it no more."
Do you believe that marriage is a lottery?
"No; in a lottery a man is supposed to have a chance."
After her husband's checkup, a woman was called into the doctor's office. The doctor told her, "Your husband has a serious disease. There are several things you'll have to do for him, or he will surely die."
"Each morning," the doctor continued, "fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant to him. Make him a nutritious lunch for work, and an especially nice meal for his dinner at night. Don't give him chores, don't discuss your problems with him. Let him watch his favorite sports on TV. If you do these things for the next ten months, I think he'll pull through."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.
"You're going to die."
Neighbor: Haven't I seen you on TV?
Actor: Well, I do appear, on and off, you know. How do you like me?