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She : Am I looking fat?
He : Yes
She : Shut up. Don't you ever dare talk to me!!

She : Am I looking fat?
He : No
She : Liar

She : Am I looking fat?
He : Maybe
She : can u ever b decisive

She : Am I looking fat?
He : I don't know
She : Are you blind?

She : Am I looking fat?
He : Depends
She : Oh you comparing me with some one else..

She : Am I looking fat?
He : *silence*
She : Are you deaf?

There are some questions for which there is no correct answer.

For everything else there is Google ...!!!
 
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Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb
Father: Really?, what did she say?
Son: Baa!
 
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Why did the class teacher always wear sunglasses?
Because her class was so bright!

What kind of school do giraffes like to go?
Only the High school!

 
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Teacher: John, tell me your date of birth?
John: July 13th
Teacher: on which year?
John: it is in every year, Ma’am!
 
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Why the music teacher did not able to open his room?
Because the keys were on his piano!
 
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Mona has a beautiful and naughty daughter called Sona. She is very naughty and mischievous. One day, the little Sona with great curiosity asked her mom, ‘Mamma why your hair is turning grey? I don’t like it.’

Mona decided to teach her child about good behaviour and replied, ‘Dear, my hair is turning grey only because of you. Whenever you do any bad action, one of my hairs will turn grey.’

Sona was thinking for a while in silent and laughed loudly. Mom asked, what happened?

Sona replied, ‘Momma now I understand why grandma’s hair is completely grey!’

 
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Mother to Johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?”
Johnny: “No mom, all the questions were simple, It was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!
 
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Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay
Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
 
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First soldier : “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?”

Second soldier : “No way, Jose!”

First soldier : “Why not?”

Second soldier : “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
 
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Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?"

Students: "Eggs!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: "Homework!"



 
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Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."



 
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A man to a psychiatrist: “How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?”

The psychiatrist replies: “We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub.”

The man smiles: “Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket.”

The Psychiatrist replies: “No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?
 
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Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, "He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?" "No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie."


 
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Husband: "What's hypnotism?"

Wife: "Taking control over someone & making him perform as per your wish."

Husband: "Nonsense! That's marriage, not hypnotism."
 
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Don't waste time in finding guru.
God has gifted you a guru on your marriage day.
Bow to her and u will have a peaceful married life.
 
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Intelligent answer 😜😜:

Wife 😡, "Tell me who is STUPID ? You or Me ?"

Husband (Calmly), "Dear everyone knows that, you are so intelligent, you will never marry a STUPID person."
😄😄
😝😜😃😳
What a decent way of telling facts !
 
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"We drove past a city cemetery and my dad remarked, “Do you know why I can’t be buried here, boy?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m still alive.”



 
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"Dad you look tired."

"Oh, you mean the dark circles under my eyes? Those are the shadows of my great deeds."


 
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Son: "Is this insecticide good for mosquitos?"

Dad: "Not at all, it kills them!"


 
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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.


 
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