Your Ex-GirlFriend Asking If u Can Still Be Friends After A Break-Up..
It is Like..
A Kidnapper Telling U To Keep In Touch.!!
At a Bust Stand,
An American DoctOr gOt Heart Attack after Reading a BoOk's Name..!!
Guess The Name Of that BoOk..??
"How tO Become A
DOCTOR in 30Days".. Rs 150/-
Teacher: "Johnny, Im Glad To See Your Writing Has Improved."
Johnny: "Thank You"
Teacher: "Now, Finally,
I Can See How Bad Your Spellings Are!!!"
I was in court the other day and the Judge said to me "Have you ever been up before me?"
I replied, "I'm not sure, what time do you normally wake up?"
Overheard a man and his wife were having an intense fight when the wife told him to get out. The husband packed his things and as he was leaving, the wife said "I hope you have a slow agonising death." The husband replied "oh, so now you want me to stay?"
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I’d be in your hands all day. Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one everyday.
Husband: Honey..... What are You Looking for?
Wife : Nothing.
Husband : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Wife : I was just looking for the expire date.
A failed businessman to his fat wife:
You are my only investment in life that has doubled.
I asked my Heart :
Why can't I sleep at night ?
My Heart told me :
Because you have already slept in
When I was Studying My Mom Was calling me..
But I did not respond..
I was deeply involved in Studies But
she Called me again n again I shouted Plz Leave me to Study, My exam is near plz I want to Study,
I want to Study...
My Mom Slapped
me and said Stop Dreaming "Wake up n Study..
Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot..
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boy friend and i denied him for marriage.
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!!
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to her.
Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.
Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall:
"Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!
Husband (frantically calls up Hotel Manager from his hotel room):
Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump off the window of your hotel.
Manager: Sir, I am sorry, But it's your personal matter.
Husband: Idiot, the window is not opening!!
LecturePolice arrested a drunkard & asked where are you going? Man: I am going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking . Cop: Who will lecture at midnite? Man: My Wife.
A Boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Bay says yes, I saw dad!
Does the New One works?
Wife:I have changed my mind
Husband:Thank God! Does the new one work now?
Everything about you is perfect your lips, your skin, your eyes, perfect! you're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me , who was born liar.
My Wife Saw U
After robbing the Bank, robber to Clerk: Did you see me robbing?
Robber:Shoot him dead & asked the next clerk did u?
2nd Clerk: No, But my wife saw you!
A Genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!