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Wife: "Darling Let's Enjoy our Saturday and Sunday"!
Husband: "Good Idea!, Let's meet on Monday..
 
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Newly married husband puts a notice in front of his residence:
FOR SALE
Computer and Encyclopedia both in good condition.
Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows EVERYTHING ...with backup server called
"Mother In Law "
 
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A husband takes photograph of his wife and then declares himself to be a "WILD-LIFE" PHOTOGRAPHER !!
 
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Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!
 
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Wife : Shall I prepare Sambar or Rasam today .
Husband : First make it, we will name it later
 
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Man outside phone booth: "Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven't spoken a word".
Man inside: "I am talking to my wife"
 
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Ad on OLX:

"For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake
 
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Husband & Wife dono market gaye to Ek Ladki ne HELLO kiya..
Wife:"kaun thi wo ??
Husband:"Tum plz dimag kharab mat karo,.. . abhi usko bhi batana hai ki tum kaun ho..!!
 
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Husband: I need space...
Wife: Join NASA..

 
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A mother makes her son "Gentle" in 20 Years. But a girls make him "Mental" in 20 Minutes.
 
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Today I saw myself in the TV When i switched off.
 
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Husband: Have you heard of King Akbar?
Wife: Yes, what about him?
Husband: He had three wives.
Wife: So??
Husband: That means I can marry two more times?
Wife: Have you heard of Draupadi !!!???
Husband: I was just kidding dear!!!! You take things too seriously!!!!
 
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Wife : Chalo na aaj Sunday hai. Bahar chalte hai Aur drive mai karungi
Husband Wow! Matlab, jayenge car me aur aaynge Kal k Akhbaar me.
 
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Height of misunderstanding:
A man married his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before !!
 
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Doc to lady: Any history of insanity in the family ? Lady: Yes... My husband thinks he is the Boss of the house!!!
 
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Ravana was furious with all the people ganging up to burn him. He shouted at all of them "what harm did I do to any of you? I didn't kidnap your wife "
The angry crowd responded "that's what we are burning you for, you evil guy. "
 
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Marry Me... and Make me the Happiest Man in the World
Looking bewildered she replied
.
.
.
.
You want Both !!!??
Husband and Wife jokes

While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents dat, "Mai aapki beti ko shaadi ke baad bohot khush rakhunga"
Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents....??????
No..... because women don't lie
 
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A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
 
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The party’s host paid me a great compliment. “You are a good-looking woman,” he said. “Honest—I’ve had only one beer.”

My glow was only slightly dimmed when my husband interjected, “Imagine how great she’ll look after two.”
 
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
 
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