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Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one
 
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They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self defense.
 
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Wife: Tum Saari Duniya Mein Bhi Dhoondo To Bhi Mujh Jaisi Doosri Nahi Milegi......
Husband: Tum Kya Samajhti Ho? Main Doosri Bhi Tum Jaisi Hi Dhoondoon ga..! Hadd Ho Gayi
 
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Difference between talent and god's gift:

A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.
-This is talent.
A woman can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.
-This is god's gift.
 
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Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the following order

New bird
Neighbour bird
Old bird
Upstair bird
Hospital bird
Insurance bird
College bird
Super market bird

Finally she checks her name. and it was saved as
"Angry bird"
 
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Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from room)
Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife & she says she will jump from your hotel window.
Manager : Sir, I am sorry, but this is your personal Issue.
Husband : abbe saale ! The window is not opening. This is a maintenance issue ..
 
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Wife : "why are u home so early?"
Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"
 
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Wives are magicians........
They can change anything into an argument.
 
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Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !
 
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Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!
 
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Wife : I hate that beggar.
Husband : Why ?
Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book How to Cook !!!
 
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Intelligent Husband Wife was busy in packing her clothes.
Husband - Where are you going ?
Wife - I'm moving to my mother.
Husband also starts packing his clothes.
Wife - Now where are you going ?
Husband - I'm also moving to my mother.
Wife - And what about the kids ?
Husband - Well I guess ... If you are moving to your mother and I'm moving to my mother ... They should move to their mother.
Clothes unpacked.
 
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When your wife says...
''Correct me if I am wrong''
Just Smile & Agree.
Dont start correcting
It's a trap...
 
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Wife - Where R U ?
Husband - I'm At the "Bank"
Wife - Wow...that's good !! I need 20,000, for a new Cell Phone, 5,000 for a new dress, 6000 for new shoes, 4000 for a new purse, 8000 for my new cosmetics !!
Husband - Sorry , I mean,
I am at the Blood bank...
"KHOON PIYEGI KHOON ?"
 
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Short & Sharp:
Wife: I hate you.
Husband: What a co-incidence..
 
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."
So I took her to my parents house.
And then the fight started....
 
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What is the difference between welding and wedding
In welding there are sparks first and bonding forever, , whereas in wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever
 
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Marry Me... and Make me the Happiest Man in the World
Looking bewildered she replied
.
.
.
.
You want Both !!!??
 
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What's Marriage?
Answer : MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense Of Humans
That Destroys All The Six Senses
And Makes The Person NON Sense..!
 
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Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.
Husband: Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband..!!
 
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