Husband was shocked to read
Wife’s Old school report card
The comment written…
Soft Spoken Student.
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, “I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear.” The other one says, “Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons.”
Wife: Today, I want to relax,
so I have brought three movie tickets.
Husband: why three tickets?
Wife: you and your parents.
Couple in a Restaurant
Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…
As the food was served, Husband said:
“The Food looks delicious, let’s eat.”
Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That’s at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.
Q: Why do people always begin their journey with the right foot first?
A: Mainly because when you move one foot, the other is left behind.
What is owned by you but mostly used by others?
Customer called to Tech support: “my computer is not connecting to Internet”
Tech support: “Ok, which operating system are you using?”
Customer: “Internet explorer”!
Tech support: “No, you just right click on “my computer” and click on the properties menu”
Customer: “what are you saying, this is not your computer, it is my computer”!
One day a software engineer drowned at the sea. There are many people on the beach and they heard him crying out. But no one understood what he was trying to say. Can you guess what he was trying to say? “F1, F1”!
Teacher : if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??
Student1 :Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Student 2: OK
Student 1: A white horse fell in the mud.
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention here?
Student: yes mam, I am paying as little attention as i can. !!
"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!" Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"
What is the difference b/w wife & saali?
Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duty,
Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,
Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,
Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,
Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat photi,
Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake:
“Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?”
“No, not a soul, actually.”
“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”
When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor. When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it. When your third child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you wonder whether it still needs lunch.
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.
The surprised girl said, “What was that?”
The guy smiled at her, “Direct marketing!”
The girl slapped him soundly.
“What was that?!” said the boy, holding his cheek.
My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.
Shortest joke a software developer can tell:
“I’ll be ready soon.”
Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.